Red Light

50

Phase 3

Interlude - 23rd September 2021
Kyrah's Perspective

"Losing...,"

I pause to gather my breath.

I'm not gonna cry again.

Come on Ky, it was 8 years ago, you're better now.

You can do this.

".... Daniel."

I pause again.

My bro.

After all these years, it still hurts like yesterday.

"...It felt like the whole world was ripped from underneath us." I say. "....I'd never experienced a heart pain like that, it felt like being stabbed. We he-held him as he died." Brandon puts an arm around me. I bite my bottom lip and lean my head into him to stop myself from crying. He takes over from me.

"It was like something died in me." He continues, "Everyday felt like something was missing, every time our group was together. Every time we passed his house, anytime we saw his family... a hole. That was my brother. From the first day I met him I knew he was a 4 Lifer." He sighs and shakes his head. "That guy had my back from day one, he was more loyal than cousins."

He runs a hand down his face, shaking his head again. He opens his mouth to continue, but I cut in.

"You lot need to understand that when you talk about 'ducking down opps', your loved ones are opps to someone too." I wipe my eye with my sleeve, "It only felt real when we lost someone ourselves. Before that we were celebrating, writhing in the deaths of our enemies. No-one cared. But when it hit close to home, it didn't matter how many opps were dead. All that mattered was who we lost."

I sniff and wipe my cheeks.

"A part of me died that day... and I can never bring it back. He's gone. Dead. And we can never change that."

"I-I'm so sorry for your loss," a teacher says, with a tear rolling down her own cheek. "How did you cope?"

Friday 28th June, 2013 (6 weeks post-death)
Kyrah's Perspective

The funeral is today.

It's official. He's actually dead.

You know, I tried to convince myself it was all a dream. That he was playing this great prank on us and he had really just been shipped to Ghana. His Mum had threatened him with that after finding his hidden stash of money, knowing he doesn't have a job. I remember him telling me how she cussed him in twi. Me and Danielle were bussing up. One thing I am grateful for is his Mum didn't take the money away from him or report it, even though she threatened to. She'll need it now.

We pull up outside his block.

The hearse is parked in front of it, covered in flowers, which are shaped in the letters D A N I E L.

And just like that, I can't breathe.

*Flashbacks*

"Kyrah, Zanisha, Justine, this is Jamal aka JKid, Reeko aka 10 and Daniel aka D Mulla." Brandon says, pointing at the different guys in the front room.

I'm surprised he told us their govs, but I guess it's coz he trusts us. We did grow up together.

"Yoo." "You good yeah?" "Wahgwan?" They respond.

I smile and wave.

*

"Wahgwan Kyky and Shanshan?" Daniel says, opening his arms to hug me and Shantae.