Find Me

9. Struggle

Josephine POV:

"Okay, Jo. You've got this, I'll see you in a hour." Hero tells me as we stand outside of a therapy clinic that specializes in addiction. He then leans down and gives me a loving kiss on the lips.

"Bye, see you in a bit," I mutter back a tad bit nervous. I separate myself from Hero's arms and take a deep breath before slowly entering the clinic, quickly with my head down I go over to that lady behind the desk with brown hair and black eyes, she seems to be in her mid twenty's. She doesn't look up as she seems to be consumed with what her task is.

"Hello, I have a appointment today." I tell her.

"What is your name?"

"Um Josephine Langford." I squeak and avoid eye contact with the few eyes in the lobby.

She types for a moment, this whole time she hasn't looked up and neither have I but when our eyes connect, she completely stops everything she's doing. "Wait! Oh my goodness!" She squeals, "your J, from 'The Strings and Bolts' aren't you?!"

I nod with a smile, "yep that's me." I feel my face flush pink.

"I love your singing so much, and your like the ultimate party girl that every party girl aspires to be!" She starts to go on a long rant about her love for 'J'. But alas to my satisfaction, my new therapist comes out of his office and calls me. When I turn around I then see that it's Jake, my ex.

"Jake?" My mouth hangs open.

"Hello, Miss Langford. It's actually Dr. Richardson here," he tells me with a small smile and I numbly nod. He makes a motion with his hand indicating me to follow him, upon entering his office, I note that I don't feel as comfortable as I did with Dr. Todd, I honestly kind of miss her.

Jake- well Dr. Richardson takes a seat in a large leather chair while I sit on a uncomfortable bright orange couch that sort of hurts my eyes. The room is plain white with absolutely nothing on the walls and one small window at the far wall of the room. Reaching over he takes a stack of papers from the coffee table in front of us and skims through them.

"So, I understand that you have some issues regarding alcohol." He nods to himself. "So let's start from the beginn-"

I interrupt him"-actually Dr, I already worked through those problems with my previous therapist back in New York. None of that 'beginning' shit affects me anymore."

"Yeah? So you've already been to a different therapist meaning this has been going on for a while?" He crosses his legs.

"Yeah, then I was sober for about a year and a half."

"Hmm, so what was the cause of you picking up your old habits again?" It seems as if his interest was genuinely peaked.

"I lost something that was important to me and I needed a way to cope," I tell him avoiding eye contact.

He stares at me for a moment, "and what was that something?" He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

"The love of my life," I bluntly state.

"Oh?" His face shows that he is clearly surprised.

"Yeah, but we are working through things now, it was a whole misunderstanding and now we have our son to take care of. So I'm trying to get better for them."

"Just for them? Why not yourself?"

I shrug my shoulders, "I guess I just don't care about myself as much as I care about them." I nonchalantly tell him.

"Let me ask you something, Jo." He slightly smirks when I shift uncomfortably at the way he says my name. "Have you ever tried to get better so that you could actually live a good life and feel good, or have you always done it just to please other people?" He raises a brow at me. "If I recall correctly, you were the girl that two years ago was spotted with the Hero Finnes-Tiffin multiple times. Has he always been the only thing keeping you from destroying yourself? Do you not have enough self worth that he always needs to be the magic solution to everything? Oh, maybe it's the money he has that makes 'getting better' worth it." He chuckles menacingly. The room becomes dimmer making it feel smaller.

Jake gets up from his seat and slowly stocks towards me, I try to get up from the couch but I am paralyzed in fear. He pushes me back into the couch, suddenly my voice is gone and my limbs feel like stone but tears pour down my face, leaning in close he whispers into my ear, "your still the same worthless whore that everyone new back in middle school. But now you just got a guy that's willing to pay you for sex. Why don't you just go kill y-"

"Jo! Jo baby, wake up!" The feeling of rough yet warm hands shaking my shoulders release me from my sleep. My eyes pop open and I quickly sit up in my bed gasping for air. Looking around, I see that I am not in a therapists office, especially not Jakes suffocating one, but instead in my dark bedroom with Hero's arms wrapped around me.

He's rocking me back and forth soothing me, not minding my sweaty body. "Please, I need it. I just need a little bit!" I cry, feeling the urge to drink fall on me like a pound of bricks.

"No, you need to be strong. You can't have it, baby. Remember your son. Our son. Think about Henry." He whispers to me. I grip his arms and cry loudly. His body heat of him hugging me from the back soothing me slightly. But not enough.

"No! No! I can't do this!" I scream.

Third Person POV:

The young woman's grandparents burst into the small room and are greeted with the sight of their precious granddaughter screaming and crying in her loves arms.

"What's going on?!" The papa's voice booms.

"I think she's having a panic attack," the scared green eyed man tells the older one.

The elder man takes the blonde bundle of both sunshine and rain into his arms and rushes to the bathroom.

"What happened?" The grandmother softly asks the shaking man that seems as scared as a boy.

"She h-had a n-nightmare, then was pleading for alcohol but I refused to give it to her." He tells the woman with watery eyes.

The woman herself feels empathy for the man, knowing just what he'll have to go through. Her own husband had to go through it with her. Yes, the grandmother is just like her granddaughter, she went through the same struggles.

She picks the green eyed mans hand up and leads him to the bathroom where Jo now lays in her underwear in a bath tub full of warm water to help calm her down. Papa kneels down besides it both stroking her hair and making sure that she doesn't drown but just relaxes. It has worked. How did he know it will work? Well he used to do it with the girl's grandmother who now silently watches them along with the terrified man. "It's time for you to take over now, whenever she gets like that, calm her down in a warm bath, it will usually work." Papa tells Hero.

He nods in understanding and watches the elder couple leave, walking over he grabs a bottle of strawberry scented bath soap and squirts a bit in so that bubbles now appear.

"Hero?" A hoarse voices asks.

"Yes, honey?" He replies, turning his head slightly he notices her head is laid on the side of the tub and her eyes are closed.

"I'm sor-" he shushes her from her apology and reaches over to rub her shoulders.

Looking adoringly at her he speaks, "you are so so, strong my love. Please don't give up." He pleads to her.

"I won't. I need you and I need Henry."

"As we both need you," he whispers to his now sleeping girl.

Hero finishes cleaning Josephine and then takes her out of the bath, he strips her of her underwear while not looking in respect of her and quickly drys then dresses her in sweats and his shirt. He somehow manages to messily braid her hair, then takes her back to her bed where he tucks her in then hugs her from the back.

"I love you," he tells her, hoping it can register to her through her subconscious.

Note from author ❤️:

So here's a tougher chapter, I really wanted to demonstrate that it will be a hard ride but that Hero won't give up on Jo.

Thoughts or theories?

You know you love me xoxo,
Zoë