Find Me

10. Beach

Josephine POV:

The next morning I am awoken with a raging headache and common hang over symptoms, did I drink last night?

No. I couldn't have, I start to internally panic at the thought of me already fucking my shot up of having the life I've always wanted. The family I've always wanted. Peeling open my noticeably puffy eyes, I notice that I am laying in my bed with Hero's thick arm wrapped around my waist securely. Hero wouldn't let me drink, would he?

Just like that, a flood of memories emerge in my mind from the previous nights shit show.

Nightmare.

Alcohol need.

Hero saying no.

Panic attack.

Warm bath.

Hero's voice.

Comfy bed.

Sleep.

Thank goodness Hero didn't give me what I was so desperately begging for. That's always been something I can count on him for, being able to say 'no' when it's needed. Adjusting myself so that I am now facing Hero's perfect face, I reach up and start to lightly caress his face. After I've ran my finger tips over his lips, cheek bones, eyelashes and full eyebrows, I bring my hand up further to his hair that has seemed to grow thicker and longer in these past years we've been apart. I start to get lost in my head that is full of guilt for just leaving Hero abruptly and not even noticing how unresponsive he was to everything.

I should have fucking noticed!

Because of me he wasn't able to see me grow big with our child, feel his kicks in my stomach, see him born, his first steps.... his first words that happened to be 'super hero'. I don't know why, maybe it was all of the super hero cartoons and movies he loves to watch.

Gosh, I've kept so much from Hero that he deserved to have. How does he not hate me? Surely any other person would. I feel hot familiar tears stream from my already raw eyes as I continue to run my hand through his hair. "I'm so fucking sorry, Hero." I whisper to his sleeping form. He grunts and I hold my breath expecting him to wake up but he doesn't, instead just removes his arm and flops over so that he is fully laying on top of me. I quietly groan from him putting all of his weight onto me.

Soon I grow used to the feeling of his weight on me and find it quite comforting, but I need space. As quietly and stealthily as possible, I wiggle out from underneath him and silently leave the room with just my shirt and panties on. I exit the house and start my five minute walk down to the beach where I can think without distraction.

As I walk I admire the scenery, the morning sky, clear streets, birds chirping. It just all seems to wash away my worries. When I arrive, I walk up so that the water just barely flows over my bare feet and I take a seat on the dry sand. With my head in my hands and the salty air blowing through my hair, I start to clear my mind and take a deep breath.

I remove my hands from my face and stare out onto the glittering ocean in front of me. I think about my life with Hero. From the moment we met to now.

Everything has been so bittersweet, all of our moments together have been tainted my be. By my illnesses, doubts, worries, fuck ups and misunderstandings. But this is when I'm going to stop all of my self-pitying and I'm really going to get myself together.

For Hero, for Henry, for my family, my friends, and for myself. I stay thinking in my mind and get lost in all of my good moments with Hero that majorly trump the bad ones.

Next are the memories of me checking in on what he was up to these last two years. I start to remember how in different movie interviews he always seemed so drained and every smile seemed so forced. His fans were ecstatic when photos of me and him together stopped showing up. That's one thing I haven't missed about Hero, is all the crazy fans that come with him. Now don't get me wrong I have seen dozens of nice and understanding ones. But in the end the bad ruled over the nice.

Suddenly large familiar hands are placed on my shoulders and snaps be from my thoughts, and no they aren't Hero's, but they are my Papa's. "Hero is going crazy without you at the house," he chuckles.

"Why didn't you just tell him I was here?" I ask accusingly.

"What's the fun in that?" He rebuttals with a smirk.

"Whatever," I mumble amused. "So why have you come to visit me here."

He thinks for a moment and stares up at the blue sky, "for multiple reasons, one," he holds up his index finger, "I was concerned about you after last night and decided to be a good, responsible grandpa and check on you since you've been out for so long. And two," holds up a second finger, "to get you to come home and control that lunatic of yours and put him on a leash." We both burst out laughing.

"Well, dear grandfather of mine, I'm... better, I just came out here to think and sort of lost track of time. Now shall we get back so that I can put that lunatic of mine on his pink leash?" I chuckle as I stand up and brush the sand off from me.

We make the short walk back to the house with minimal talk and when I step in through the door, I am swept up into the large arms that belong to my English beloved. "Hello to you too," I squeeze out with barely enough air from his strong hold on me.

He sets me down and takes me face in his hands, I notice my papa quietly I avoid us and sneak into his room. "Where were you? I was so worried that something bad happened."

"Calm down, I was just at the beach." I explain to him.

"For three hours?!" He says a bit loud.

"Yes," I wave him off, "I just lost track of time. I needed some time to think and so that's where I went." I defend.

I closed his eyes for a brief moment and takes a deep breath then opens them again, "okay, I was just worried."

"I know and I appreciate it, but here I am fine." I take his hands in mine. "Now come with me, there's some things I want to show you." I lead him to my bedroom and to the beloved closet that this man has been so curious about.

I grip onto the side of the closet door as Hero stares at me unsure. "Jo, it's okay, you don't have to show me what's in there."

"But I want to." With that I open the door and it reveals two different boxes full of papers. One box is labeled 'M.F.U', and the other is labeled, 'M.G.A'. I look to Hero who seems to have a face full of puzzlement at the names. *okay if ya want you can make your guesses on what each one means:)*

'
'
'

"What do those mean?"

"Hm?" I asked confused.

"The acronyms, what do they mean." He slightly points to them. I take a deep breath.

"How about first we see what's inside and then I'll tell you."

"Deal."

Note from author❤️:

Wow I really haven't been sticking to my supposed break, but when I get in the mood to write a chapter I can't not write it. Ya know?

But anyways I already said , feel free to make guesses on what the acronyms stand for!

You know you love me xoxo,
Zoë