Find Me

28. Didn't Listen

"I uh-" I stammer, not knowing what to say.

She takes a deep breath, "doesn't matter, just stay away from him. Nothing good comes from that man." Her eyes plead with me. But there's something else there... fear?

"Why do you and Hero keep telling me to stay away from him?" I ask as I furrow my brows. Jamie's eyes grow red and watery. I am not asking this question because I want to see him, I actually never want to see him again, but I'm curious as to why.

My mind has already made some assumptions on why, and I really hope they are wrong and that she just doesn't have a good relationship with him.

"Don't question us on this one, Josephine. All you're gonna do is get yourself hurt." She hisses, griping my hands in hers.

I lower my eyes, sensing that she's right. "Does Hero know?" I have to ask.

"Its all over social media so my guess is, yes, he knows."

"Fuck!" I put my head in my hands. "Can you just drop me off at Parklyn Elementary, my car is over there?"

"Yeah," Jamie whispers. "David, to Parklyn Elementary," she instructs the driver and he nods at her in the rearview mirror.

.
.
.

Thirty minutes later I'm walking through the front door, shame and guilt already written on my face. The ride over here I tried to prepare myself for the wrath I'm going to face from Hero, but when I get here, what he does instead is much worse than any amount of yelling he could've done.

He gives me the silent treatment.

Upon entering the kitchen, I see him standing in front of the stove, boiling water in a sauce pan.

"Hero," I say as I walk over to him. No reply, "Hero, I'm sorry." I place a hand on his shoulder but he just shrugs it off before pouring pasta into the water. Acting as if I'm not there. "Come on don't be a child, just talk to me." I practically plead, becoming frustrated with being ignored.

"It seems as if whenever I do say anything, you never listen." Was his whispered reply.

He's right. He's so fucking right and that fact makes me angry.

"I'm sorry," I whisper in shame. "I just- I wasn't thinking!" I try to pathetically explain.

He steps towards me and leans over me with intimidation, "that's the thing, Josephine, you never fucking think! You just do! When you left as a teenager, you weren't thinking, when you saw Janet on me you left, you left me there. I needed you, I was getting taken advantage of and you left me." He grows quiet. "And still now as a grown woman with a child and fiancé you still don't think. What happens next time 'you aren't thinking'? Hmm? Who's gonna get hurt next. You, me? Henry? So next time you stop thinking, don't come home." He pushes past me and grabs the car keys. "I'm going to go get Henry, him and I are staying at my mums tonight."

And before I can say anything, he's gone with the sound of the door slamming.

As tears well in my eyes I grow angry with myself, how could I let it get like this? Why do I keep going against everything he tells me? I know I don't have this need to be a strong independent woman around Hero and alone, I actually like emotionally depending on him, I know that's wrong but it's just the way I am. And yet I allow my actions to get in the way and while I've been here depending on him, he can't do the same for me.

Hero is a soft soul, one that needs to be nurtured and cared for, not tormented like I've been doing. I'm going to fix this, I have to fix this.

I can't lose Hero, not now, not ever.
.
.
.

The bed is warmer than I expected it to be when I wake up, usually when I sleep without Hero it's cold... and there's a arm around me?

I flip around to face a dead asleep Hero. His left hand is tucked against his chest while his right is placed firmly on my hip. His eyes are red and puffy, making him look especially pale.

Gently I place my hand on his face, cupping his cheek. I run my finger tips over his facial structure for a few minutes before ultimately the feeling of his skin on mine makes me fall back asleep.

The next time my eyes open they instantly falls on deep green ones.

Hero's eyes are even more puffy with sleep, making him look adorable. "You came back," I whisper as I lay on his chest.

"I've gotten to the point where I can't sleep without you," he quietly rebuttals.

I look down at his chest as my finger tips trace patterns over it, "is it too early to, um, talk?" I furrow my brows as I look up at him.

"No, I was just about to ask." It's odd, I've rarely ever seen Hero this quiet and calm. "I'm sorry for getting so angry last night I just-"

I abruptly sit up, "no, don't you dare apologize. You had every right to get angry with me. I deserve it. I haven't been thinking of what's best for you and thinking about your feelings and for that I apologize." I grab his face and gently kiss him.

"Well," he starts, "I just feel like recently you haven't been hearing me. Like I'm talking to a wall. When I tell you not to do things, it isn't because I want to control you or anything, everything I tell you is in your best interest." He cups my cheek in his large hand, "I feel ignored and not cared for lots of the time. You're always so busy with everything else and I know this is selfish but I need your attention too, Jo."

"Oh, Hero," I grab his face and smash his lips to mine, "I'm so so sorry, baby. I didn't mean to make you feel that way. Let me make it up to you," I hug him close to me. "I love you so much."

"I love you."

...

"Where's Henry?" I suddenly remember.

"When I got to the school yesterday I was informed that Henry faked being sick and my mom came and got him." He rolls his eyes.

"Gosh he is just like you," I chuckle.

Note from author:

Nothing really happened. I'm really disappointed with the way this story has turned out and I'm unsure where to take it. I might just end it soon and kill them both lol.

Comments, thoughts, theories?

You know you love me xoxo,
Zoë