Nobody Loves Me Like You Do

Chapter 12: I Made It All Up

Valentine's day, the cheesiest, most sickening day of the year. Blaine and I arrive at the Lima Bean, and no surprise here, the coffee house is decorated with strands of hanging hearts, and lights, and lovey-dovey stuffed animals.

"Okay, I'm all for flair, but these Valentine's Day decorations are just tacky," I groan picking up a heart stuffy that has two dogs on it. "I mean what the hell is this supposed to be?"

Blaine rolls his eyes playfully and takes the animals out of my hand, "It's clearly puppy love. It's cute come on."

I reach to put it back and it makes little kissing noises, "Oh, ok this is creepy."

"Adorable!" he overlaps.

I glare at him playfully, "Alright Mr. I-Know-Everything-About-Love, what do you have planned for this special day?"

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about," he smiles at me. "Do you think it's too much to sing to someone?"

My breath catches, "Not, not at all."

"Great! I have something really spectacular planned, I just need to get the rest of the Warblers on board," he turns to the barista. "Could I get a medium drip and a grande nonfat mocha, and maybe I can get him to split one of those cute heart cookies."

"You know my coffee order," I acknowledge.

He smiles, "Of course I do silly."

I reach in my pocket to grab some money to pay for my part of the order.

Blaine puts his hand over mine stopping me, "Don't even bother, it's on me."

Oh. My. God. The boy of your dreams who by the way you have been in love with since the moment you met is 1. going to sing to you on valentine's day and 2. buying you coffee! I think excitedly. Blaine goes to grab our usual spot and I lean over the counter to the barista.

"This may just be my new favorite holiday!" I squeal mostly to myself.

I make my way over to where Blaine is sitting and cutting the cookie in half. I take a seat across from him admiring his concentration and the few curls that are loose from his gel helmet. The coffee burns my mouth a tiny bit as I take a careful sip.

"So, what song are you thinking of singing for this special someone?" I ask, trying to get more information.

He smirks at me, "You will just have to find out when I tell the rest of the Warblers now won't you."

~Time Skip~

Wes bangs his gavel, "This meeting is called to order, junior member Blaine Anderson you have the floor."

"Esteemed council I don't want to take up a lot of your time so I'll make this short. I'm in love," Blaine sighs, looking at me directly.

I sit up straighter in my seat trying to hide my excited smile. Everyone Oohs and laughs, I hear Nick whistle, there are mutters of congratulations.

Blaine chuckles a bit, "As you all know very well, I'm not great at talking about my feelings. I'm much better at expressing myself through song, but still, I need your help. Which is why I am enlisting the Warblers to help serenade this individual, in song..... Of campus."

Everybody exclaims in protest with shouts of "what?", "off-campus?", "why?".

Wes bangs his beloved gavel once again, "Order!" he nods at Blaine to continue.

"Look, I know what I am asking is slightly unusual..."

David interrupts, "The Warblers haven't performed in an informal setting since 1927 when the spirit of St. Louis overshot the tarmac and plowed through seven Warblers during an impromptu rendition of Welcome to Ohio, lucky lindy."

"Why would we even consider what you are asking?" Thad asks.

I raise my hand carefully, "If I may?" I wait for Wes to give me the all-clear. "With respect, I believe that this may benefit us. The Warblers are becoming caged in, privileged, porcelain birds. When I was with the New Directions we would perform in front of hostile crowds such as nursing homes, mattress stores, shopping malls, I even got a shoe thrown at me when we were performing in front of students. But it gave us new experiences, kept us on our toes."

They all nod their heads in agreement.

Wes smiles at Blaine, "And where would this performance take place?"

"The Gap. Off the North Hills Mall. I'd like to call it, the Warblers Gap Attack."

I tilt my head in confusion, "Why the gap?"

He looks at me with a dreamy expression on his face, "The guy that I like is a junior manager there."

I try my best to keep a smile on my face, but I can feel it slip as soon as Wes asks all in favor and everyone raises their hands. It is confirmed I am never, ever going to find love. How could I? The guy I have been obsessed with since the day I meant him is going to ask out someone who isn't me on Valentine's Day. I thought it couldn't get worse, but as soon as I hear, "Let's start practicing," I feel sick.

Without a second thought, I bolt from the room sprinting to the restrooms. Tears well up in my eyes and I feel light-headed. As soon as I push the door open I collapse sliding down to a sitting position on the floor. Bile rises in my throat and my breath quickens. I lean over the toilet and hurl. Once it's all out of my system I lean back closing my eyes and trying to steady my breathing. I hear the door open to the restroom, but I don't care.

"Kurt? Kurt are you in here?" Nick's voice calls.

A tear slips down my cheek and I choke out, "Y-yeah."

Nick throws the stall door open and helps me back into a sitting position by the sinks.

"What happened? Are you alright? Why did you leave so quickly?" he questions rapid fire.

"I-I think I just got something bad in my lunch that's all," I lie, hoping he will drop the subject.

I open my eyes and see him studying me carefully.

"No, that's not it."

"Fine! You want to know the truth-" Nick nods, "-today at the L-Lima bean Blaine asked if I th-thought it was a good idea to sing to someone on Valentine's Day, for some stu-upid reason I thought it was me. I mean, we sing flirty duets, he pays for my coffee, he looked right at me when he said he was in l-love! How could I not think it was me?

"I don't know how but I was convinced that he liked me, I've been in love with him since the day I first met him. Then he says that he's in love with this rando that works at the Gap and I can just feel my heart b-breaking."

I calm myself before continuing, "It doesn't even matter anymore, he doesn't like me and I made the whole thing up in my head. I just need to be there to support him, and shove my feelings away."

Nick hands me a wet paper towel to cool myself down. I look in the mirror and see an even more pale version of me staring back.

"God, and on top of that, I look like shit."

Nick shakes his head, "Never, even if you wore a trash bag and you hadn't slept in weeks you would still look good."

I smile at him, "Thanks."

"Anytime, now let's get you back into your dorm. I'll tell the Warblers that you had something bad in your food at lunch and that you need to sleep it off. Something that helps me handle my feelings is writing letters," Nick suggests.

I smile again knowingly, "You write letters to Jeff don't you?"

"Maybe," he blushes. "But this isn't about me. Get your ass in bed and get to writing."

"Alright, alright. For the record though, you should ask him out. He totally likes you too."

And with that, I stumble my way out of the bathroom and up to my dorm. I pull out my journal and lay under my covers. Time to figure out what I'm feeling.

New chapter! I am so happy I think I'm going to start writing a lot more, I'm not sure why but I randomly got a surge of motivation. Thanks for reading love you all!

~Lacy