Nobody Loves Me Like You Do

Chapter 20: Song Writing

I toss around in my bed, butterflies flutter in my stomach, well not flutter, more like attack one another. I can't stop thinking about the kiss, the fact that Blaine really actually likes me, that the whole thing with Jerimiah was just a ploy to make me jealous, that I might actually have my first boyfriend. The kiss replays over and over in my mind only making me feel more nervous. I roll over to my side so I can see him, his black curls fall into his eyes. I love his ungelled hair, that much gel must be damaging his hair. I groan internally, throwing the blankets off me and sitting up. I turn on the lamp beside my bed and grab my notebook. A melody arises in my mind and I start to hum.

Blaine stirs on the other side of the room and I freeze. There is silence for about five minutes before I deem it safe to continue. I scribble down the lyrics swirling around my head in the notebook. Nobody knows this, but I have many different lyrics within this book. I've always loved writing music, I've just been too scared to show it to anyone. Terrified that someone will find them, these words hide my deepest secrets, my deepest feelings.

I see him standing there

Short with his dark black hair

And I can't help but stare

His eyes they catch on mine

And I think damn he's fine

And yes I feel so blind

I glance over to his peaceful face, his breathing is deep and his lips are perfectly red. It takes all of my willpower not to slip into bed with him and hold him in my arms. He yawns and stretches a tiny bit, his muscles flexing. My breath catches in the throat.

My breathin' cuts short

My vision is squared

I feel like I could really care

My head will spin

My hands will shake

I hope that this won't be a mistake

I bite my lip feeling every single doubt bubble up in my chest. What if he really doesn't like me? I'm not good enough for him. Why would he ever like someone like me? I shove the thoughts out of my head and continue.

And he's my one good thing

The one that loves to sing

My heart will soar and fly

Yeah, we won't say goodbye

It's like I'm in a trance

Whenever he will pass

I hear him ramble on

I feel like we belong

"Kurt? What are you doing? Is everything alright?" a groggy voice asks.

I slam the book shut tucking it behind my pillow, "Nothing, everything is fine. Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

He turns on his side to face me, he tucks his arm underneath his pillow trying to keep his eyes open, "It's okay."

We look at each other for a few seconds,

"Well, I'm awake now, so whatcha writing?" Blaine says breaking the silence, his eyes dropping.

"Nothing."

He laughs softly, "It's clearly not nothing. Come on, lemme see."

"I really don't think so," I protest.

Blaine leaps out of bed catching me by surprise. He takes the notebook from behind my pillow and opens it studying the words scrawled across the pages. He skims through it and I bury my head in my hands feeling completely humiliated. I peek through my fingertips and see him staring at me. His hazel eyes seem to stare deep into my soul keeping me from looking away.

"Kurt, this, this is incredible," he locks his gaze on mine. "Why didn't you want me to see this?"

I mumble into my hands, "Because it all sucks and it's embarrassing."

My heart pounds so loud I can hear it in my ears, I feel like I can't breathe.

"Hey, this is amazing. There is nothing that you should be embarrassed about," A wave of relief washes over me. Blaine gets underneath the covers causing me to scootch a bit to the side. "Will you sing me this one?" He points to the one I was working on.

I shrug and sing what I have written.

And when he stands close

I think I might almost

Have my hopes up

But then our hands will brush

And I can feel a blush

Oh, am I just rushing in?

I repeat the pre-chorus and chorus again before moving onto the bridge.

My thoughts are filled with only him

I toss and turn I feel so grim

But what if he will notice me

And how I think about her

My heart will skip a lonely beat

Will telling him be such a feat

If I could suck it up

Then I could be the one

Blaine shifts so that his head lays on my stomach, I play with his hair getting lost in the music.

Who makes his breathin' cut short

His vision be squared

Make him feel like he could care

His head might spin

His hands might shake

I hope that this won't be a mistake

I twirl his hair around my finger while finishing the end of the song with the chorus once again. By the time I finish he is already asleep again, I sigh smiling at him dreamily. I reach over to shut the light off and lay down next to him.

"That was gorgeous," he murmurs.

I smile, "Thank you."

"Who was it about?"

I roll my eyes at him, "Are you serious right now? 'Short with the dark black hair'?"

"I'm not that short!" he protests.

I stroke his soft hair, "Sure you're not sweetie."

He hums, "Thank you for writing that song. I had no idea you felt that way. And I'm sorry for prying."

"It's alright," I whisper. "Thank you for making me get out of my comfort zone and feel safe doing it."

"You can always feel safe with me."

I kiss him on the forehead. My brain stops racing and I can feel myself start to drift off, dreaming of a certain Warbler. 

Ah! I was so nervous to post this, I wrote this song about a girl that I know and decided to change the lyrics in order to fit the story! Somehow it worked. If you want to hear it dm and I can send you the link to the recording!!

~Lacy