Nobody Loves Me Like You Do

Chapter 26: Breakup Blues

I sit on my perfectly made bed staring at the blank wall in front of me, I feel completely numb. I feel absolutely nothing, after crying my eyes out all last night waking up this morning seemed almost easy. There is nothing, no happiness, no sadness, no anger, nothing. Talking to Finn last night was nice, it always is nice talking to my brother though. There is a soft knock on my door and I look over to see my dad standing in the doorframe.

"Hi, Dad."

"Kurt, what's wrong with you? Why did you come home? You never come home so late in the week," he questions.

I stare at him feeling nothing, "Blaine and I broke up."

"What?" he comes rushing over toward me. "What happened?"

"He cheated on me."

"He what?! Do you want me to shoot him? Because I have a shotgun in the basement and bullets with his name on them," Burt says in a weirdly calm voice.

I shake my head, "No, Dad please don't do anything. I'm fine. Listen I have to get back to Dalton. I'll see you next weekend."

"Kurt. You call me if you need anything okay?"

"Okay."

I gather my stuff together and grab an apple on the way out the door. Carole wishes me safe travels and I thank her, giving her a lingering hug. The drive back to school is quiet and smooth. The scenery passes by with a blur, all of the driving is automatic, there is no feeling that comes with the peace of the silent drive. The breakup between the two of us replays over and over in my head.

I-I shouldn't have-

Shouldn't have what?

I slept with Sebastian.

Kurt, wait please, can't we just talk about this?

I-I just can't be in the same room as you right now.

I feel nothing. No love, no sadness, no stress, nothing. It's like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and left in some locked wooden box. I know it's there, I can feel it beating, hell I can hear it beating, but it's empty still. All my thoughts disappear as I pull into the parking lot of the school. I grab my bag and step out of the car. It's drizzling a bit but I don't really care. I didn't even style my hair this morning. Nick somehow appears by my side as I walk into the building.

"I heard about what happened. Everyone did. Wes and David want to throw both Blaine and Sebastian out of the Warblers if it's going to affect the relationship of the group," he rambles.

"No, it's fine. I promise I won't let it affect our performance," I respond.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm fine really. Honestly, I should have known, Blaine was going to get bored of me sooner or later."

Nick spins me around to face him and latches onto my shoulders, "Stop this. Stop this right now. You are not allowed to pity yourself, you are better than he is on so many levels. He is an asshole and doesn't deserve you anyway."

"Let's just go, we're gonna be late," I grumble.

My friend sighs, "This is not over Hummel."

The day passes by in a blur, I take every step necessary to avoid both Blaine and Sebastian. Pitiful looks are thrown my way at every corner. I ignore them the best I can. Peers that I have never met find me after class to apologize as if it's their fault and they can fix it. Every breath seems like a giant accomplishment, every step takes a lot more energy than it should, every word I speak is short. I keep my gaze downcast focused on the floor and the identical black shoes that flood the corridors.

My figure collides with another causing both of us to drop our books. I lean down to pick everything up, apologizing quietly. I lift my head and my eyes are met with familiar hazel ones. I hurry to pick everything up and turn around clinging the books close to my chest. There is a dull throbbing in my chest that I ignore as well as a lump in my throat that I swallow. His hand lays on my shoulder stopping me in my tracks.

"Kurt, please, is there any chance that we can talk later?" Blaine asks.

"No. Not now. Leave me alone please."

"Just know that I am very very sorry."

"I know."

I leave him standing in the hallway alone. The rest of the day goes by both very slowly and extremely fast. Nick stays by my side as well as Jeff, always asking to see if I'm okay, if I want to skip lunch, if I want to stay in their dorm after class. All I know is that I do not want to stay in the same room as Blaine, I can't break down in front of him. Everyone approaches me, talking in soft voices, asking how I am, I just want everyone to stop. I want them to stop talking to me, stop asking me if I'm alright, stop pitying me. I want them to treat me normally like I'm not some porcelain vase that could break at the smallest touch.

I have gone through hell, this is just another thing to add to the list. Maybe it would be better if I went home. Left Dalton. I escaped the bullies and came here, now to escape Blaine I have to go back. After talking with Karofsky there is hope for things to get better, for McKinley to be my safe space again. To be my home again.

Once classes are over I go straight to my room skipping Warbler practice. Hopefully, I won't run into Blaine again. I grab my suitcases from under my bed and start packing. I take down every poster, fold every item of clothing carefully, place every picture frame into the case. I neatly make the bed and write short letters explaining everything.

Blaine,

I'm transferring back to McKinley, there is nothing you can do to change my mind. I came here to escape my problems, now I'm ready to face them head-on. It's too hard to look at you anymore, every time I see your gelled hair, or your beautiful hazel eyes, all I can think about is you and Sebastian. To make things easier for the both of us I'm leaving. Goodbye.

-Kurt

Dear Nick and Jeff,

Thank you for making my time at Dalton incredible. You two have always been by my side and I am very grateful for that. I don't think I can do this anymore. Please tell David and Wes that I am sorry for leaving without any notice. I'll try to stay in contact the best I can. I love you both so much. Thank you for everything.

Love,

Kurt

I hope you all liked this chapter! Sorry, it took me so long to post! I'm starting up high school soon and it will be my first year at this new school so I apologize if I don't post as often. Love you all!!

~Lacy