Doctor, Doctor, Can you fix my broken heart?

Chapter19

Chapter 19

That evening when I got home I was alone again, although this time because both Ty and Loz were working nights. I slipped in the dark flat and paused by the door. I felt a restlessness inside me despite the busy day. Deciding that going for a run would probably ease the tension I felt building up within me I made my way to my room to change and grab a pair of head phones. All day I had been unable to get rid of the nagging feeling that something was wrong, something felt very wrong. I still couldn’t figure out what was bothering me but the root cause was of course, Lexi. Although this time it was because she had not turned up to work and all day there had been no call as to why. Slipping my phone into the side of my bra so it wouldn’t fall out I forced myself to think of other things, such as the fact Terri had announced she was leaving at the end of the month meaning there would be a Sisters post available. Babs had told me before she left that she expected an application for the job from me as soon as it was advertised. Locking the door I did a few stretches and contemplated whether I should go for the position, it would mean more money but more responsibilities. I wasn’t sure I was really ready for it. Jogging down the stairs and crossing the street I vaguely took notice that the faded red van was back, or that it hadn’t left. A tall bloke stood leaning on the bonnet with a cigarette in his mouth and cheese and onion crisps in hand. Shaking off the apprehension I got from glancing at him I made my way down the path towards the park, a swift look over my shoulder calmed me as I noted he did not follow. After berating myself for having a wild imagination my focus returned to the prospect of being a ward Sister.

Ever since I joined the ward five years before, Babs had made it very clear she wanted to train me up to become a Sister. I thought back to a time when I had just started fresh from Uni, and Babs had terrified me. She had cornered me in the office before rearranging my collar, making me believe she had called me in there as I looked a mess. Before telling me that she believed me to be a great nurse and that she was glad she had kept me on the ward from when I was a student. ‘Give it a few years and you will make an excellent Sister. You were made to lead rather then follow you know. I think you will be one of the good ones.’ Remembering her words made me smile. I had been shocked but very happy about it. I had gone home and bragged about it to Ben and everyone else who would listen, wondering why I then got the reputation between my friends as big headed.

I took my regular track to the left and put a burst of speed on until my breathing was ragged and I could feel sweat trickling down my back. If I was being honest with myself I did most of the extra things the Sisters did, such as co-ordinating and running the ward when one of them were not there. I knew more responsibility would be put on me but I started to believe I could handle it. Most people on the ward liked me and came to me for help when they needed it, which I was always happy to give. Slowing down a little I came to a bench where I started to do some more stretches, letting the tension in my muscles fade. I glanced up and saw another runner heading towards me. It was a woman. Blonde. A sense of déjà vu hit me strong as the woman ran closer. I swallowed remembering the time I had been running with Ty and Lexi had run past. Not that I had known it was her at the time. The woman ran past and glanced my way briefly with soft brown eyes before looking straight and running on. Not Lexi.

Thoughts of Lexi filled my head again and in a fit of irritation I started sprinting as fast as I could away from the bench and away from the memories. I didn’t slow down until I reached the edge of the park and my chest felt tight and my legs burned. Gritting my teeth I slowed my pace to a quick walk and concentrated on getting my breathing under control. By the time I made it to my front door, my legs had ceased to feel like jelly and I wasn’t breathing like Darth Vader anymore. I pulled out the key and slipped it into the lock, surprised when it didn’t turn.

“What the…” I was sure I had locked the door when I had left. Or had I? My brain was pretty frazzled from the events of the last few days so I concluded I had probably forgotten. Chewing my lip I slipped into darkness and reached for the light switch.  “Fuck.” I muttered as I caught my heel while slipping my shoes off.  Hopping around like a mad woman I paused with my foot in my hands when I actually took in my surroundings. Slowly I let my foot drop and stared in confusion at the entertainment unit on the far side of the room. Everything appeared to be in its place all for one cupboard under the TV set. I carefully walked over to it and shut the cupboard door, I knew I would have noticed that when I last came into the flat because I was slightly OCD and when doors and draws were left open it irritated me like an unscratchable itch. It was at that moment I realised I had in fact left the lights on. I bit my lip, a new sense of unease filling me, the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end. Trying to calm myself down I glanced around to try and spot signs that Ty or Loz had come back early from their shift but saw none. I slowly edged towards the house phone and lifted it from its cradle ready to call the police.