On the Run

Chapter 19

AN: Please vote and comment!!! Xx

My cursor hovers over the submit button. It's been an hour since I finished my application for University of Portland. I want to press submit but I can't. My finger freezes and I can't bring myself to click submit. I know that my parents would want me to go to college. That is all that they talked about.

****

"Are you ready for school?" Dad asks me. I smile as wide as I can and nod my head.

"Ok honey I need a picture of you. Please go stand in front of the front door." Mom calls out from the kitchen. I bound down the stair and take my place in front of the brown wood door.

"Ok stand still sweetie," Mom raises the camera up to her face. I smile wide and the flash goes off. I pose with one hand on my head and the other on my popped hip. The flash goes off again.

"I want one with you and your father," she says. Dad walks over to where I am standing and kneels next to me.

"Dad is short," I giggle. The flash goes off again. I wrap my arms around his neck and give him a big hug, nearly knocking him over. The camera clicks rapidly.

"Okay, okay," Dad chuckles. "I think that is enough pictures for today. Someone needs to get to school to get an education, right Amy?"

"Sir yes sir," I salute to him, like the men do in the shows dad and I watch together.

"And you go to school so that you can go to college, right princess?" dad grabs my backpack and we walk out to the car.

"Mhm" I hum as I climb into my car seat. He buckles me in and climbs into the front seat.

"Where did you go to college daddy?" I ask. He starts the car and pulls out of the driveway.

"I went to NYU and then I moved here and went to UCSB," he tells me.

"Where are those schools?" I ask him.

"The first one is in New York, where grandma lived and the second one is in Santa Barbara, where my friend Nick lives."

"Oh okay, when can we see grandma?" I ask. It had been awhile since I have last seen her.

"Sweetie," dad sighs. "She is in a better place. Remember we talked about this awhile back."

"Ohh.." I scrunch my eyebrows together. "She's in heaven right?"

"Yes Amy" he sighs again.

"Will I go to heaven?" I ask right as we pull up to the school. Dad got out of the car and walked around to my door and opened it. I hopped out of my car seat and pulled my backpack on to my back.

"Of course you will. I love you Amy. Have a great day at school." He kisses my forehead and walks back to the car.

****

A tear rolls down my cheek and I press submit. I open the NYU page and my eyes scan the page looking for the application. I find the link and I start filling out my information. Hopefully I can get into NYU so that I can be closer to dad. I'm sure wherever I go he will be proud. He was always proud of my school work. I wipe the tear that are flowing down my face with the back of my hand. I sniffle and get up to blow my nose. It is full on water works for me today. First this morning with the memories of Dillon and now my dad. My phone in the other room starts to chirp and I race over to answer it.

"Hello?" I answer trying to not let out a sob that is threatening to escape.

"How are the applications coming along?" Blake asks.

"Good. I just sumbitted my University of Portland app and I just started on my NYU app." The sob slowly retreated and I felt like I could breathe again.

"NYU huh? Did you know that your dad went there for his bachelor's degree?" she asks.

"Yeah, he told me on my first day of kindergarten that he went to NYU and then UCSB." I tell her. Another tear rolled down my cheek. 

"Yes he did. Did he tell you that he graduated with honors and received a special recognition from the English department?" She asks. I didn't really know what my dad or what his degree was. All I knew was that he would take me to school and then would come home for dinner. A few times he would be late.

"No, I didn't know that." I confess.

"Well I have a file about him that I was able to recover and you can take a look at it when I get back. How does that sound?" The sob came creeping back with a vengeance. I broke down and released the threat as I fell to my knees.

"Amy, are you okay?" Blake asks, her voice laced with concern. I shake my head no even though I know she can't see me. This is all too much for me.

"It's okay Amelia. Let it all out. It's okay to be sad. There is no need for you to hide it anymore. You are safe." Blake coos.  

"I just miss him so much Blake. It still hurts." I struggle to say. The pain in my chest was a deep ache that has been ripping open ever since I met Liz. I never had someone who was so accepting of me and my past. There is still so much that she doesn't know and so much that I don't know.

"I know you do. Just know that you are surrounded by people who love you." She softly tells me. "Amy, love, I need to get back to my meeting but I'll call you later to check in with you. Try to get some food in you and some rest." 

"Okay," I mumble before hanging up. 

I grab my laptop and carry it to my room. I set it down next to my bed and climb under my covers. I close my eyes and sleep takes over.

****

"Hey," Dillon calls out me with that perfect smile that he always wears. His brown eyes are warm and welcoming.

"Hey," Logan appears next to him. His blue eyes sparkling in the light. They both stand there smiling at me.

"Hi," I wave to them both. They don't bother to move and I can't. All I can do is talk to them.

"I miss you, Amy. I'm sorry for not coming with you and not being there to protect you. Just know I still love you and I am here now." Dillon tells me in the most genuine voice. I want to run into his open arms but I can't. I open my mouth to tell him I love him back but nothing comes out.

"I'll always be here for you Amy. I want to protect you and keep you safe. I am so glad that you are my girlfriend," Logan says. There is a light surrounding him while Dillon fades away into the dark. I start to scream Dillon's name. The room is flooded with light and Logan is all that is left.