The one that got away - Charlie Gillespie

Chapter 21

Our lips moved together in sync as Charlies arms snaked their way around my waist pulling me closer. This felt right, suddenly everything that I have been feeling over the last year had disappeared. The guilt , the heartache, the pain all faded away. Suddenly I felt like there was no problems around us. That it has always been us, and suddenly I was snapped back to reality and pulled away from the kiss. 

'I'm sorry' I whispered trying to pull away from Charlie's grip. 'Lottie don't run' Charlie sighed as I stopped struggling. ' I just want to talk' Charlie smiled down at me. I sighed and nodded. 'We're going' he shouted to the gang as we walked off towards the car park and towards Charlie's car. He opened the passenger door for me to which I smiled with a simple thank you before getting in himself and driving towards the highway. 

The ride was silent, the sound of Charlie's choice of music filled his car. He handed me his phone 'you can chose a new playlist if you like' I smiled accepting his phone and putting on Ed Sheeran's playlist. I was about to lock Charlie's phone when I took note of a playlist on his music app - L ♥ . I didn't want to look any further so I locked his phone and placed it back in the console before looking out the window. 

The joys with being short is you can see in the side mirror especially if it is positioned in a particular way. I kept noticing Charlie give me small glances in the mirror and looking down at my hand. It got to about his 25th look where I ended up just sliding my hand into his so he would stop looking at me. 

After about 30 minutes we had finally arrived at our destination. The hills, Charlie reversed the car in and opened up the boot before climbing in. I turned around in the passenger seat and looked at him 'what are you doing' . He looked up at me 'getting comfy because we have a lot to talk about' He smiled before putting his hands behind his back and taking in the view. I sighed and started picking with my nails.

'Lottie, what happened that night' Charlie asked turning to look at me. I sighed and began to recall the moment everything happened. 'Sammy showed me a photo of you kissing another blonde girl, you were in your hockey uniform and I didn't know what to think. I mean the secret was out and the one person who I trusted with my life was kissing other girls when I wasn't around. Everything got to much so I did the thing I would always do when I was younger. I shut everyone out. I broke up with you and I didn't talk to anyone and then one night about 2 weeks after everything had happened there were news articles being posted about everything that had ever happened with my life. My mental health issues, my parents divorcing and then getting back together, my aunties drug addition. You name it the press had the information. Then just as I had managed to get my head around that 2 weeks had passed before Grandad called to say Grandma had been taken to hospital and it wasn't looking good. We all pilled into the car and drove as fast as we could to the hospital where we said our good byes, she died that night . I broke down, it had been the first time I cried about everything. I had a panic attack and ended up fainting which then caused me to be admitted to hospital for examinations.' I breathed looking over at Charlie who was closely examining me taking in every word which I said so I continued ' I was discharged from hospital 48 hours later and we went home. Then the following day we got a call from the hospital to say Grandad had died from a heart attack and the whole world crumbled then and there. ' I paused wiping my eyes which I had not realised produced tears ' My hero was gone and I was broken, I shut everyone out from that point , I wouldn't eat. I thought so many times about calling you because I knew you would just hold me and not say a thing, but then I reminded myself of what had happened and switched my phone off. I didn't even go to any of their funerals Charlie because I was so broken.' I sighed climbing out of the car and moving around to the boot where Charlie was looking at me before I continued to explain everything that had happened. 

' They left the house to me, they knew how much happiness being there brought me but I haven't managed to bring myself to even go to the house. Mum and dad went , took everything out and done the house up, but I can't even bring myself to go there. I sighed before Charlie opened his arms to which I laid into. ' My mental health took a downward spiral and the panic attacks got worse. Slowly but surely I managed to control them. I wasn't even suppose to come tonight but Savannah dragged me and well here we are' I looked up at Charlie who held me tighter. ' I look like a complete mess, your prom night is ruined and I have had another panic attack' I sighed moving out of Charlie's grip sitting up. 

'Lottie, you have not ruined my prom night at all, if anything being here with you has made everything better. I have missed you so much and I have been worried about you . Jake told me everything about your mental health and you may not have been able to go to Granada and Grandma's funeral but I went for you. 'Charlie sat up grabbing my hands. 'But we weren't together' I questioned. Charlie moved closer to me and looked me in the eyes. ' But I know how much they meant to you , I knew you wouldn't have been able to go so I went for you, to say goodbye for both of us. They were lovely people ladybu... I mean Lottie and the were so proud of you.' Charlie spoke before rubbing my hands. I hadn't realised I was crying again as Charlie wiped my tears away. I laid down in the back of the car Charlie laying next to me. It was quite for the next 30 minutes, us laying side by side and looking out at the view before Charlie spoke. ' So where does this leave us' Charlie asked sitting up to look at me. I sighed, as much as I wanted to have Charlie again as my boyfriend I knew we had to take things slowly. ' I think we need to take things slowly Charlie' I began sitting up to look at him ' Start again' I spoke not being able to trust my own voice. 'But I can't just be friends with you Lottie, I love you for crying out loud' Charlie sighed moving closer to me 'Charlie we need to start again, so if you can't be friends lets start with best friends.' I asked sitting up crossing my legs. 

'Fine, best friends' Charlie nodded sitting up to mirror my cross legged position.  

'Hi , I'm Lottie Jacobs' I smiled shaking his hand. 

'Charlie Gillespie' He replied causing us to both laugh. 

Something which I have missed over the last year. We then spent the rest of the evening watching the view and the sun come up over the horizon. 

Maybe everything will finally be ok.