Pain and Despair

To Live On

It jammed. The fucking thing jammed. Naruto shook the hand that was holding the gun, "FUCK! WHY?!WHY?! WHY?! WHY CANT I JUST DIE... in peace? Just let me die!", he looked at the sky, "PLEASE! LET ME DIE! THATS ALL I ASK", he sobbed, "Fuck."

His stomach growled. He didn't feel hungry, but apparently he was. He looked down at his phone and Hinata was calling him, for the fourth time actually. He stood there with the gun aimed at his head for so long he didn't know she had been calling him until after he pulled the trigger. He'll call her later. He needed to eat, and act like everything's been fine.

He looked at the gun in his hand and threw it at the river, feeling a big weight being lifted off of him. He stepped down and walked back to his car. Naruto got in his car and looked at the armrest if there was any money in there, and sure enough there was. 500 yen, he grabbed it and walked toward the ramen place.

He gripped the handle of the door and sighed before going in.

"Welcome to Ichiraku Ramen!", said an old man with a smile, "My name's Teuchi! What do you savor so early in the morning?", Teuchi asked brightly.

Naruto sat on a stool and looked at the old man, "A misu pork ramen please." Naruto said with a small smile.

The old man nodded and went into the kitchen, "Coming right up!"

Naruto closed his eyes and tried to calm down. His leg was shaking and his hands were fidgeting with each other. He was breathing hard, too hard. He was being spammed by messages and calls from Hinata, but all he did was put them on silent.

"You should answer them. By the looks of it, they're worried about ya," said Teuchi as he placed the ramen bowl down. "Eat up kid, you look messed up."

"Thanks." Naruto said, ignoring what Teuchi had said. He begun eating, surprisingly fast as well.

"So," Teuchi started, "You're gonna tell me why you were about to off yourself at the bridge?", Teuchi asked.

Naruto almost choked on the broth and put the bowl down to look at Teuchi.

"Aw come on kid, don't look at me like that," he smiled, "I know who you are. I can never forget those whiskers. As I breathe, the one and only, Naruto Uzumaki in the flesh. I thought you died kid."

"W-what are you–"

"The villagers were bad, but not all of us."

Naruto's eyes shook, "W-why?! Why didn't you do anything to stop it?!"

Teuchi's smile disappeared, "Honestly, I don't know myself kid. But looking back on that day, twelve years ago, when the villagers beat you so bad, something hit me. You were just a child. An innocent child who didn't deserve to be treated that way. So, I called the ambulance. But, by the time they came, you were seemly gone. And until this day, people think they killed a demon. When really they were killing a child." Teuchi smiled once again, "I'm glad you're back."

Naruto's eyes went low, "I was just coming back to do something."

"By something you mean killing yourself?"

Naruto chuckled, "Yeah."

"You think this is funny kid? Why do you take to your life for granted?! Why do you choose to die?! Why not live on? Not just for your sake but by their sake too!", he pointed toward the phone that was ringing for the 20th time, "Live for your future kid. You don't know what it has in store for you. Live for whoever Hinata is. They seem to care for you, so please, live on."

Naruto, "She does love me. But we all die someday, memento mori right?"

"We all die someday yes. Death is inevitable but enjoy your life as much as you can. We're living off of borrowed time, and the clock is ticking faster. So take your time, enjoy it, live it, and love it kid."

Teuchi had a point of course. For the first time ever, Naruto actually listened instead of brushing helpful words off as if they were nothing. He needed help and he acknowledged that. He knew that Hinata loved him but what had love offered him other than pain? Absolutely nothing. He was scared of love, he hated the fact that it existed. But unfortunately, love is a human trait we can't live without.

"You listening to me kid?", Teuchi asked.

Naruto nodded and reached for his wallet, "I should um... I should get going!"

"No no, that's okay. The food's free kid. Go home, and tell that girl you love her. That you'll try. Because you're not perfect , but you're not your mistakes."

Naruto smiled and walked out the restaurant . He got into his car, rolled the windows down and drove back home. He drove for hours that when he came back home the sun was setting. He ran up the steps of his apartment and opened the door.

There she was. Hinata Hyuga. The perfect girl for the broken man. He looked at her as she stared at him with worried eyes.

"Naruto... Where were you?! I was worried! Are you okay? What happened?! Tell me–"

Naruto didn't let her finish, he had walked toward her and gave her a hug, a long, soft, tight hug.

"I'm sorry Hinata...", he whispered softly with tears welling up in his eyes, "Forgive me."

Hinata was shocked when Naruto had hugged her but she came back to her senses when she heard his voice, "Its okay Naruto-kun. As long as you're safe. Just don't... Don't do that anymore... Just tell me whenever you're going to do something like this again."

He let go of her and looked at her. "Hinata... I know you love me, I know you care for me and I appreciate that I really do... But I'm not ready for love. It never brought me happiness. I've tried and tried but it all goes to shit and I start right where I started... Alone. But, I'll try. I'll keep on trying, not just for my sake, but for yours too. I want to be with you, just please give me some time so I can get this right. Please."

Hinata smiled, she placed her hand on his cheek and pulled him closer to her, "You won't be alone my love. I'll be here to help you. I love you. And I'll keep on loving you until you're ready to love me."

Naruto's lips quivered, the tears that threatened to fall, fell. He smiled and kissed Hinata.

The kiss that held the most meaning for him.

And thus, we conclude our story. The tragic life of Naruto Uzumaki is finally seeing the light it deserves. It just goes to show you that all you need is a little bit of reassurance. Words that can change you. All you need is the will change, and be willing to change. Life is precious, whether you see it that way or not. Love will never be perfect, but it's worth it, it's worth trying and learning from it. So never choose the way out. Because, they are people who do love you. You just have to see it to believe it. So keep on moving, keep on pushing, be determined to win against all your demons. Because they can all go suck a fat dick. Be happy. Live your life, and don't try to shorten it. All you have to do is one thing....

Live on.