Pain and Despair

Back To Where It All Started

The news had reached Naruto. He didn't know what to feel exactly. Sadness? Relief? He didn't know. He had gotten his hopes up at the thought that he'd finally be able to set things right with his father. It seems he's back to where he began. Alone and in pain. Well, maybe not entirely alone, he still had Hinata. The perfect girl, for the broken man. Naruto was staring at the ceiling with Hinata lightly snoring on his chest.

He sighed, and looked at the hoodie that was thrown across the room and the keys that were on them. He looked at his bedside and saw his phone. He grabbed it and carefully got out of the bed. He snatched his keys and hoodie, and walked out the door. He got into the car that was parked right across the street, he got in and let out a huge breath. He gripped his hands on the wheel and inhaled once more,he gripped the wheel so hard his knuckles turned white.

"That... Coward!", his voice faltered and shook, "Why..." , he started punching the horn of the wheel making it beep and almost waking up the block in the process, "FUCK!", he sobbed.

He put his head on his hands and tears came falling down from his face, "You lied..."

He stood there for a bit, the tears stopped, the sobs had calmed down and sat back straight in his seat. He looked at his phone and opened it, he scrolled through his contacts and his thumb stopped at Sasuke's contact. He had forgotten to delete it.

Sakura's contact was still under the name of  "Babe" and he cringed at the sight of it. He put his phone down and looked in the distance. It was a garbage can, and something was laying beside it. He got curious, it looked madly familiar to him, he got out the car and walked toward it.

And there it laid. A black Colt .45 pistol. Naruto shivered at the sight of it. A gun had killed Gaara. He hesitated against it, but he went with it either way. He walked back to his car and sat there, staring at the thing for a good while. Why had he picked up the gun in the first place? He didn't know. Why was the gun there in the first place? Hell if he knew. What if this gun had been used to kill somebody? Not possible. It doesn't seem to have been used recently. He still hesitated what to do with it.

Then it hit him. He needed to clear his head up, he let his heart guide him. So he turned on the car, and drove out.

And he drove for hours.

He had played music in the car, replaying the masterpiece of an album "Circles" by Mac Miller in the car. And before he knew it, he was somewhere he never thought he'd be.

Konoha.

Sweet sweet Konoha. His hometown. The place where it all went to shit. It was a small town, some might say it looked like a village. Nonetheless, it was beautiful. He'd admit that, it was beautiful. But the people in it were so superstitious that it made it a horrible place to live at. Naruto had parked his car near a small ramen place, he was shaking his legs, so nervous. Too nervous to even think straight. He looked at the gun by the armrest and picked it up. Kakashi had taught him how to use a gun, so he found it easy to handle. The gun was quite heavy despite it's small size. He pushed a button and the ammo mag came out, he looked inside and it was full. He chuckled. 'Good. That's good,' he thought.

Naruto got out the car and hid the gun by his waist, he walked until he met the corner of a street. He could see the street lights switching from red, yellow, and green with no cars coming by. It was a Sunday in Konoha after all. Nobody goes out on Sundays. Such a quiet village. So small. Yet nobody seems to know what happens around here. He waited for the sign to turn green so he could walk, yes he could've done so already as there wasn't any cars driving by but he didn't care. He was too tired to do anything.

He walked further, passing by a old lady selling apples, and into an old neighborhood. He stopped by a certain house in that neighborhood. It was the place where he was actually happy for once, but it was quickly taken from him due to certain experiences. Iruka. The man responsible for crushing his soul. His father had crushed his body. Iruka crushed his soul. Sakura and Sasuke had left what was left of him empty. He no longer had any hope for the best. There was just no possible way for him to be happy. He's tried and tried but nothing ever works out.

So, he kept on walking. He had a certain place he had in mind. He passed a man with a woman wrapping her arms around his waist as they rode a bike. He kept his eyes closed and kept walking. He had finally reached the bridge. That damned bridge. He was back.

Back to where it all began.

It was at that bridge where he met Gaara. If it wasn't for this bridge, he'd been dead long ago. Naruto walked toward the edge of the bridge and sat on the rail with his feet out facing the giant river below the bridge. It was cold. So cold. Naruto pulled out his phone and the gun, not worried if anybody saw him. He had turned on the voice recorder on his phone and set it down neatly on the rail just right so it wouldn't fall.

"'Well this is what it looks like. Right before you fall.' God that's such a great line", he begun to speak, "Hinata. This is for you, I know you'll miss me. But you shouldn't be with someone like me. I'm just a coward. I can't handle any of this. All this time I've been going back to where I started. I... I can't say I love you, even though you obviously love me. You took me to see my father without asking anything about it. When he... Hung himself... You comforted me. I'm sorry that I can't grow with you. But the only girl I ever loved messed me up, my brother is dead, my father is dead, my mother is too. I have nothing. I'm sorry... Hinata."

He sniffled and wiped a tear coming down, "Find someone better. I don't deserve you. I know this is supposed to be a suicide note or something to explain as to why I did it but... Shouldn't that be obvious? I'm just sorry. I don't want to do it, but it seems that's it's my only choice."

Naruto stopped the recording, grabbed the gun, cocked it back, and placed it on the side of his head.

Then, he pulled the trigger.