Whatever luck you live by, let it get you through this war. Let it keep you alive to come home to me. I hope you're safe. Joseph wrote to me and told me that he found you, half dead, on a cot in the medical tent. He said that he yelled loud enough that most of the doctors stopped whatever they were doing and made sure that he wouldn't hurt you. He overreacts to things, especially about things that concern me. He was always so overprotective of me, which is why I feel that men run the other direction when they see me walking towards them. And I know that Joseph is too self-conceited to apologize, so I'm sorry he did that. I told him just to make sure you were alive. I was worried sick.
William Schofield, you remember that whatever happened to those men is not your fault. You were unable to complete the mission, so what? You were shot trying to complete it. You did not give up, you were stopped because of an injury. It's not your fault and no one is blaming you. If your men truly do blame you, then I will travel to France myself and make sure they know it's not your fault. You had no idea what you were walking into when you were given the mission. They probably had no idea what you were walking into. It was not your fault. It was the military's lousy excuse of unpreparedness that they don't want to own up to, so they put it on the shoulders of a Lance Corporal who had no clue what he was going headfirst into.
You did not fail your country or any of the men that you didn't reach. I don't care what your sergeant says, nor do I think he's in the right to blame a lance corporal for something when he stayed safely on his own side. So, your regiment and sargent who have decided it would be better if you stayed away are cowards. You, William, did not only cross enemy lands once but twice now and you're still alive to tell the tale. It takes courage to go once and you've now gone twice. Keep that in mind whenever you feel miserable. You were brave and you were courageous; more than most of the men there with you. And I know you won't believe me, you are too self-deprecating for you to just accept it. But know this, it was not your fault. It took courage and bravery to go back out there after you already experienced the worst of war.
I know it's hard to push the thoughts of others away, it's hard for everyone, but those men, telling you that you failed your country, they know nothing of what you had to do. They never had to experience it and I pray they never have to. I wish you never had to go through that either, but bad things happen to the best of us. You are the best of them, Schofield, you are far better than any of those soldiers dream to be. Keep that in mind for the rest of the time you're in France.
I'm leaving for London in three days and to be truthful, I'm shocked that my parents even allowed me to go. London's been more of a target for the Germans than ever before. I think Joseph wrote to them to show his support of me doing something for the war effort. They probably never want to fight Joseph in case it's the last thing they do. I also fought for this opportunity harder than I've ever fought for something before and I think my parents saw how much it would mean for me to be allowed to do this. I'll actually feel like I'm doing something instead of just sitting at home. I will miss the orchard though. The way you speak of London, there seems to be no fresh air. Every time I feel overwhelmed I find comfort in the fresh air and the open space behind my home. I will be enjoying my last few days here, I suppose, more than I usually do. I'll enjoy it for the both of us.
I know I will never know the amount of loss and pain that you have seen and experienced throughout your 21 years of living, but I want you to know that if you wish to speak about it, or if you want to speak about anything you've witnessed over in France, these letters are your freedom to do so. Please do not hold back for my sake or for the fear of scaring me away. It would take more than a soldier's experience to make me want to never speak with you again.
I've not a clue if my parents will send your letters to me, so, if you still aren't bothered by my writing, I will send you another letter when I'm settled in London and you will receive my new address. Otherwise, you may be getting letters back from my mother or father instead. As amusing as that would be, I would also miss our discussions. You seem to be the only person that I seem to be able to speak with, even if it's just through pen and paper for the moment. I believe, if we ever do meet after you arrive back to London, we would get on just as well as we do in these letters.
As for the gift, I remember Blake used to wear it all the time at home. He wrote home last September, telling my father that he lost it. Now, I know that he had not lost it at all, but gifted it to you. It was in good hands and now that the medallion is in mine, I will wear it daily, knowing that it kept you alive. It kept you alive long enough to make sure Tom did not die in vain. And it kept you alive long enough to have me meet you. Is that not luck? I hope that it will bring me luck in London. I'm terrified to move to a city that I know no one and haven't a clue of what is going to happen to me. I guess that's part of the adventure, is it not? I will write as soon as I can. Please take care of yourself and keep yourself safe.
