Mary laughed at the story Sophia was telling to her as they walked back home from the hospital. They both were in high spirits since the bombs had become less frequent, so the hospital was less busy. Their days were still filled, but they started to have the same patients every day and Mary and Sophia had bonded with some of the soldiers. Sophia was telling the story of how one of her patients, a young soldier from Manchester, had refused to eat until Sophia went to get her lunch and ate with him. Then he refused to do anything for the doctors until Sophia was there.
"I believe he's smitten with you, Sophia. You have to tell him about Michael, or he'll keep being smitten. Maybe he'll even stick around in London after he's discharged."
"Is that such a bad thing? I'm supposed to be getting over Michael, am I not? Every time I'm with Jack, I never think of Michael. Does that make me an awful person?"
"No, I don't believe so. We can't help how we feel and with whom we feel things for. I don't think it makes you a bad person. I still believe you should tell Jack about Michael, it's only right for him to know. At least tell him that you were previously engaged to someone."
"That's going to be an awfully dark conversation to have in a hospital." Mary sighed. Sophia was right. Having that conversation in a hospital would be grim.
"Perhaps you're right." Mary smiled, leading the way into their boarding house. "Maybe wait until he gets out and asks you-" Mary stopped short, leading to Sophia crashing into her, as she saw the two other girls in the house sitting at the kitchen table, their mail laying out on the table as they both looked at Mary. Mary felt her heart drop and she moved closer, seeing the letter she had just sent to William, at the top with a red stamp over the top with the words:
SOLDIER IS NO LONGER ACTIVE
"Mary-" Mary looked towards Layla, who was now coming towards her. Mary stepped away, wanting nothing more than to be left alone. "Mary, we're here if you-"
"No. Just leave me be." Mary grabbed the letter from the table and practically ran upstairs, closing the door before she collapsed on the bed, letting herself cry. She didn't even know what that meant because it didn't say he was dead, but it also said he wasn't missing. She had no idea what no longer active meant.
"Mary, can I come in?" It was Sophia this time. Mary didn't respond and Sophia took that as her welcome cue, as she stepped in, closing the door behind her. "I've brought tea." Mary smiled. "What does it say? They won't tell me."
"It says he's no longer active. What does that mean?"
"I've no idea."
"He can't be dead. I can't-"
"He's not dead, Mary. They would have said he was killed in action."
"What if he got an injury and died of infection. Or if he killed himself. He talked about not being able to handle the war anymore, what if he finally did something. Oh my god, I should've asked Joseph how William was doing. Oh my god, I have to write to-" Mary moved to get up from the bed towards her desk, but Sophia grabbed her wrist, pulling her back to sit on the bed.
"Mary, it can wait. You're jumping to conclusions before we know the full story. Tomorrow, we can go to the military office and ask what it means. You've said William is stronger, yes?" Mary nodded. "Then he's okay. I think you'd know if he was dead." Mary broke into tears again, letting Sophia pull her into a hug.
"I can't lose him."
"I know."
"I can't. He's supposed to show me around London and I'm supposed to bring him to my orchard. We were supposed to-"
"You are still going to do that. He's not dead, Mary. We don't know what this means. For all we know, he could be in London right now and he'll write to you tomorrow and ask you to meet, okay?"
"I can't lose him. I won't lose him."
"I know."
"Why does war take the best people? First Tommy and now Will?"
"We don't know-"
"Something's happened to him. I may never know what it is because I'm not family. I don't even know his family. I'll never know what happened to him." "Mary-"
"No, it's true. We were barely anything. I'll never know. Even if I go to the office, they'll never tell me what happened to him. They never say anything unless you're family." Mary felt herself break even more. She lay back onto her bed, curling onto her side and watching as Sophia lay next to her, taking her hand.
"We'll get through this, yeah? I'll go with you to the army office and ask around, yes? If we don't get answers from them, I can ask Jack, alright?" Mary nodded, feeling more tears slip from her eyes. "We'll figure out what happened to him." Mary sighed. "I'm going to stay here tonight, is that alright?" "Yes." Mary closed her eyes, feeling the day's events wash over her. "William Schofield, wherever you are, please be alright," she whispered into her pillow before letting sleep take over.
