Fanfiction [MASHIKYU]

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Mashiho 

A few nights after the first time, I find myself cuddled up to Junkyu reading fanfiction in his bed again. This makes me happy, because I still haven't had as good a sleep as I did that time I slept next to him, so I hope he lets me stay in here again tonight.

In this chapter, the focus is how painfully oblivious Fanfiction Junkyu is to both his and Fanfiction Mashiho's feelings.

"You love each other, idiot," I say to Junkyu's laptop after we finish. He suggested we read on his laptop when we can so that I don't get a headache. I reminded him it was just one time and I don't get a headache every single time I look at my phone, but he insisted. "It's not that hard to realise."

Junkyu laughs. "Hey, don't call Fanfiction Me an idiot!"

"I'll call Fanfiction You whatever I want to."

He closes the laptop and puts it down on the floor. I wriggle around in bed so that I'm lying on my side, facing Junkyu, and he copies me.

"Curse is a lot better now," I say, going back to our topic of discussion before we started reading— we just finished recording a new version. "It's so raw and tense."

Junkyu gets a funny look on his face as he says; "Thanks, that's what I was going for."

"I'm sorry I haven't been much help with it." Whenever we work on the song, I feel heavy as stone when I notice how much work Junkyu has done and is still doing compared to the minimal contributions I've made. I'm worried it's irritating him, but he's too sweet to complain about it.

"Don't be silly." Junkyu smiles and boops my nose. "You're too busy working on our title track now, Mr Main Focus."

This makes me grin. I've been going into the agency a lot both to work on the song and to discuss comeback concepts, and it's been so much fun. I've never been this heavily involved in a comeback before. Hyunsuk does everything with me, too, and Jihoon comes to meetings while Asahi helps with the song. I feel even more part of a team than I usually do, and it's brilliant. I've talked to Junkyu a lot about it, because I talk to Junkyu a lot about everything, and how it's given me more of a sense of self-worth. He told me that if I ever doubt my worth again he may have to intervene, and when I asked him what he would do to intervene he couldn't think of a witty response and even though nothing very funny happened we laughed for several minutes.

"Would it be weird if I slept in your bed again?" I ask.

"Oh, do you want me to move into yours? Do you not like the top bunk?" he quickly offers.

"No, no, I'm not kicking you out of your own bed. I meant like, staying here with you. Last time was the only time I slept through the night here without waking up and not being able to go back to sleep for ages. But if you don't want to, that's okay."

Junkyu smiles so wide and bright that he looks like the sun. "That's definitely okay with me. It means I get to hear you talk in your sleep again."

I gasp and sit bolt upright. "What? I don't sleep talk!"

"You really do. It's hilarious, you make no sense."

"Shut up!" I whack him over the head and he pouts and narrows his eyes.

"Get back here, having to look up at you sitting is annoying me."

Then he grabs me by the elbow and pulls me to be lying down, and I think he's a lot more forceful than he intends to be because he gasps when I land with so much impact that I bounce, and then we both dissolve into fits of laughter at the sudden violence of this combined with the head whack.

We keep talking for ages, and at one point he asks me if I'm excited about helping choreograph the new title track.

"I'm so excited," I tell him. "I always help teach the choreography anyway, it'll be fun to teach something I've actually created."

Junkyu props his head up with his hand, putting his elbow on the pillow. "Do you want choreography for our song?"

Yes. "No, I'm happy without it."

"So, yes." He gives me a knowing look.

"No! Honestly, I'm fine either way. It's completely up to you."

He doesn't believe me one little bit. But I know he probably doesn't want it, so I go to change the subject, and then I'm hit with a wave of derealisation. I forget what it was I was going to change the subject to, and I'm trying to make my mouth form words to continue to conversation but I'm floating up, up and out and I'm not controlling myself anymore. Junkyu fades from a person into a mirage and he looks worried.

"Are you having a derealisation episode?" he asks straight away.

Hasn't it only been a second? How did he know so fast? How did...

I watch as he takes the hand that is attached to what's supposed to be the rest of my body and holds it in his... I assume tightly, because his knuckles pop out. I can feel it but I can't. I know there is pressure but at the same time there is no pressure. He looks deep into my eyes, reading me, seeing me, seeing every little messed up piece of me.

"I can keep talking, it's okay," a weird voice says. It's mine.

A gentle smile lightens Junkyu's dark, concerned face. "Quiet is fine too."

Quiet is fine. Quiet is good. Noises just make everything worse, really. Noises are so confusing when I hear them but I don't hear them and they're loud and sharp but warbled and unreal.

He pulls me into him and I think my body relaxes. I'm unsure whether the derealisation ends first or if I fall asleep first, and I suppose it doesn't really matter.

~

Asahi comes into our room to wake us up in the morning for Treasure Map filming.

"Guys, wake up... why are you in the same bed?" I hear him ask loudly after opening the door, but refuse to open my eyes.

I just want to sleep. I hear Junkyu groan and snuggle in closer to me, and suppose he feels the same way. It's not until Asahi comes over and physically shakes us both that we start to get up. Well, Junkyu does. He swings his legs over the bed and rubs his face. I just stay lying down but with my eyes slightly open now. Asahi leaves and is quickly replaced by Hyunsuk, who raises his eyebrows at Junkyu and looks at him for a long moment before saying "Hurry up, sleepyheads, we don't want to be late because of you."