My Lune

Ch. 6~ Empty

Kinsley's POV:

*TW: SELF HARM AND PHYSICAL ABUSE* (the worst part are...who's that?)

Tear stained cheeks, I woke up not knowing where I was. I don't really remember falling asleep. All I remember was crying after he left. The music was still blaring, giving me a headache. I stumble up and the door swings open. 

"What the fuck are you doing in here? You noisy peace of shit." Haden says. Normally it wouldn't affect me but this time a tear dripped down my cheek. Of course it doesn't go unnoticed by him. "Great, now the baby is crying." 

Resting my body on the bookshelf, I decide to make my way towards the door. He turns on the light and looks at me like I'm a stray pet. I start walking out of the room when he walks towards me. I slightly wince back in fear, but he catches it. He grabs my wrist and I let out a little gasp in pain. He lifts it up and see's a bruise starting to form. Looking up at me he asks, "What did you get yourself into this time?"

"Fuck off" I say, getting my wrist out of his gentle hold. Making my way back into the party, Jess is nowhere to be found. I looked around trying to find the guy who did this to me, but he wasn't here either. What did I do to deserve this? Was it because I choose to wear my shorter dress? I bet if I went with my longer cream dress I wouldn't be in this situation. 

Haden appears, noticing I'm looking for Jess. "She ran off somewhere with Mr. Loverboy"

"Okay, I'll wait." 

"If you plan on waiting until she's ready to come home, do you want to sleep on the couch or guest bed." he says. I look at him astonished by his blutness. I make my way to the Kitchen, avoiding the little people left. I look at the time and see it's 3:17. There is no way I can walk home at this time, needless, alone. Haden follows me in, watching me take a seat at the barstool. I glare at him not wanting to make awkward chit chat. 

"Guest bed" I say. He waits a couple seconds, looking around the room at the leftover people. 

"Get up"

"Pardon me?"

"Get. up." 

"Don't talk to me like I'm trash" I slur. 

"Kinsley just fucking get up." Not wanting to question him again, I do as he says. I stumble out of my chair, nearly falling over. I catch myself on the countertop. I look up and notice that Haden is looking at me with disgust. He starts walking away and I have to run a little to catch up. He shows me to my room and leaves me alone. I'm actually surprised he is letting me stay.  If it wasn't for Jess's sake I probably would've been kicked out a long time ago. Just coming to the realization, Greyson and Haden are roommates. I don't know why, maybe it was the fireball, but I never connected the dots. 

*the next day*

I wake up with a pounding head ache. I decided to go find my way to the kitchen and get water. When I walk into the living room, Jess and Greyson were sitting on the couch watching some sort of cartoon. I said hi to them and got my water. I sat down next to Jess and whispered,"When can we go back home?"

"let me go grab my clothes, we can go now." she whispered back to me. "Hey Grey," she says turning to him. "My friend kinsley over here has raging diarrhea and needs to go home asap to get her medications." 

"What the fuck Jess, do not." she laughs.

"Fine, fine. We both want to shower, but we should hang out sometime soon." She says and we both get up. 

I awkwardly waited with Greyson for her to grab her clothes. She comes out a couple of seconds later, waving goodbye to Greyson. She forces us outside, and I'm relived to get some fresh air. Jess tells me all about her night on the way back to our dorm. I'm honestly relieved she didn't ask me about mine. I would've lied to her and told her it was fun. But she's like a Golden Retriever, I'd feel bad if I hurt her. We get into our room, and I let her shower first. 

Twenty minutes later she comes out. I grab my outfit for the day and make my way into the bathroom. I wanted to wash off everything that happened. I honestly don't know why I thought that my life in England would be different. Everything bad that could possibly happen would come to me like a magnet. I try so hard to push it away. It always stays in the back of my head, I can never forget. 

The worst parts are the nightmares of my past experiences. I think I was too drunk last night to have one, but whenever something bad happens a reoccurring dream would happen. 

I'd be sitting downstairs with my Dad, he's too drunk to control his actions. He would come over to me and pour the rest of his scotch down my head. Then, he would take the empty bottle and throw it at me until it would break. I don't know if he was trying to break the bottle, or me.I would try to run away, but he would tie me down onto my chair. After, he would take out his belt and hit me continuously across the face, not stopping till I drew blood. If I let a tear slip out, he would whip me. One tear, One whip. Once he felt accomplished enough he would let me go back to my room. I didn't have a lock on my door, but I found ways to make it lock with a hanger. I walk into my bathroom and would grab a razor. I mastered how to get it out of its hold over time. My wrists were the easiest to do. But in my nightmare, I would go to deep, unintentionally. I would fall to the floor and pass out from blood loss. I'm not sure what happens next, my dreams always end. 

I turn off the shower with my rambling thoughts. As I'm changing I look down at my wrists. A purplish-blue tint coats the surface. I apply some makeup to it so Jess doesn't get worried. When I enter are room she's smiling down at her phone.

"Who's that?" I smirk at her. 

"Grey" 

"Oh, anything exciting happen in the last hour of you guys being apart?" I ask and she sends me a mean glare. I make my way to my bed and get under the covers. I'm not motivated enough to do anything, and I need to rest before school tomorrow. It's only 1pm, but I just physically can't go interact with other people. I decided to turn on some Netflix and watch The End of the F***ing World. Eventually it got dark out and jess announced she was going to go out to dinner. She offered for me to come with, but I told her I wasn't hungry. 

An hour went by, and Jess was still gone. I closed my eyes and drifted into a never ending sleep...

~~~

1303

Sorry for writing two stories in the row with triggers. I hope you got to see a little bit into Kinsley's past. It might be a little confusing, but her nightmares are all about her past experiences. The only part that hasn't happened is passing out from her self harm. 

thank you so much for reading, It means a lot to me.

<3, 

reese :)