Romie Adler's Musical Guide

Chapter 14: "If I Loved You" - Delta Rae

Lyrics:

IF I LOVED YOU
Life would be easy
There'd be no truth that I'd be scared of
I could walk through every valley
And you'd light me with all of you love


But, I don't love you
Not like I want to
I don't love you
And that makes it hard
And every morning
I see how you watch me
And each night I know you feel it
And it just breaks your heart


You'd make good money
And come home early
And you'd kiss me and hold me each night
We would have children and they'd be so beautiful
And we'd raise them and all would be right


But, I don't love you
Not like you need it
I don't love you
Good as you are
And when I kiss you
I know that you can feel it
And I see it in your eyes
And it just breaks my heart


I wish to God I could change it, darling
Could make you the one
I will always have these regrets and wonder
What else I could have done
I will


Cause
IF I LOVED YOU
I could be happy
I would make you the light of my world
I wouldn't wait, love, I'd marry you tomorrow
And we'd make love
And I'd be your girl


But, I don't love you
Much as I want to
I don't love you, no, it would be a lie
And you deserve love
You're better than a good day
And you'll find love, but just not in my eyes
Cause it aint here love, no
And it just breaks my heart

**********

What if he said to you, 'I want us to work out?'" Jax said to me as we sat side by side in the backseat of an SUV.

"I would say, 'bitch, try yoga'" I said with a sideways smirk on my face, and heard everyone in the car with us crack up laughing.

        I had finally confessed that I had lunch with my ex-boyfriend/rapper Dex, and that was the reason why I was late to the studio the other day. What the boys didn't know was that when I showed up, I was higher than a motherfucker. Dex let me have a little sample taste -- no, not of his dick -- of some good-good green. I forgot how much I used to smoke, how much I missed it, and liked smoking weed.
        When I told the boys about lunch, they all looked at me in concern. It's understandable, because the only impression they have of Dex is the night they met him at their party. And of course, Jax had a million questions regarding my new born friendship with Dex.
        Next step, I have to tell my boyfriend. That is, if I'm going to... who am I kidding? Of course I'm going to continue being friends with Dex. I ain't committing no crime, but I'll wait to tell Zane until I see him next -- telling him things over the phone doesn't seem to end up very well. A couple more days!!! And, I'm still in the same mindset as before.

       As of now, it's out of sight and out of mind, because the boys and I are on our way to a TV interview. I'm tagging along with the boys as they are appearing on the Evelyn DeGarmo show, and after performing their new song that I helped write. Today is a very exciting day, nothing can bring me down. Not even the fact that Jax keeps looking at me like I'm full of shit, and my life is in danger.
       Our car with our very own driver, pulled up to a gate and the driver pressed the intercom to announce the band has arrived. As the gate fell opened, it revealed the Los Angeles studio network building that Evelyn DeGarmo has been filming on for years now. I saw people -- crew members -- in the studio driving golf carts, drinking lattes, and talking their cellphones. That's when you know you're in the right place in L.A. -- sad by so very true.
        Like a gentlemen, Jax offered me his hand as he helped me out of the back of the ar. When I was on my own two feet, I followed behind the boys as we walked into the studio. Along the walls were pictures of Evelyn and all her guests, it was a long list of people among that wall.