i said i was ending my wattpad career but not yet lol
dw i'm still gonna update sometimes
especially if this oneshot does well
TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ (suîcîdê)
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It didn't feel like slow motion, like in the movies.
It happened quickly, almost too quickly. Too quickly for him to appreciate the moment.
How did he get here?
It was windy. He kinda liked it, the way the wind whipped his hair and clothes around him.
The final step in his months long plan.
All he had left to do...
I'm sorry.
It seems like most tragedies start with that simple word "sorry". How many times had he said it; to how many people?
Too many. Not enough, it didn't really matter.
It was a formality now, to apologize to everyone he ever hurt.
Merely a formality.
: I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I didn't mean what I said that one night at the party.
: It's ok, I told you I'm not worried about it. It's fine really, we were all just drunk and angry.
He nodded, checking another box on the list in his mind.
Three more.
Then he'd be free.
He nodded and turned to leave. A hand on his shoulder stopped him.
: Are you ok? You seem...sad?
: I'm good, just wanted to apologize.
He turned and quickly left, his emotionless glare never faltering.
It was a carefully curated act that he had spent years perfecting. The way he carefully hid his emotions inside so that no one would know the battlefield he traversed daily.
(damn that was poetic omg i'm killing it)
He rarely let it slip.
He made it to his class and sat down in the back. Just like he always did.
: Today we'll be learning,,,
Exactly like he always did. Except today was different, today he continuously glanced at the clock, waiting anxiously for the class to finish.
Today he had something to look forward to.
: I'm sorry.
Those words again. He kept saying them.
: I forgive you.
He glanced up slightly, his blank stare faltering for just a second.
How? How could he be forgiven? For what he had done. For what he was about to do.
: O-oh
: Mhm, I forgive you. I'll always forgive you, no matter what.
No.
That wasn't supposed to be how it went. He wasn't supposed to be forgiven.
This interaction. This stupid formality was supposed to solidify his mind. It was supposed to help him see clearly, the choice he needed to make.
But now, now he was confused?
Doubtful maybe?
No, not that, sad?
Yes, he was sad. Sad because he was going to break this person's heart for the hundredth time; yet he knew he would still be forgiven.
: Thank you. I-
There was a silence, the first moment of hesitation. He wasn't sure if he should say it. Would he really be speaking the truth if he did?
: You don't have to say it. But I love you too.
In that millionth of a second, he wanted so badly to let his walls crumble. To let everyone see the battles he was fighting in his mind.
Instead he turned. He turned and he left.
He couldn't let them in, he couldn't let anyone in. He tried that in the past and it never worked.
No matter though, he only had one more goal. One more box to check.
So that's how he got here.
The realization came so quickly. Every choice that led to him standing at the top of the building with his eyes closed.
He felt like a bird.
The wind whipped around his body, roaring in his ears. It lifted his hair, streaming around his arms and legs like it was going to pick him up and carry him away.
He felt like a bird, he wanted to fly.
He stepped to the ledge, letting the wind push him around.
He opened his eyes and looked down to the street below him.
Such an interesting feeling, to look death in the face and not be scared.
He wasn't scared.
He didn't doubt.
But he was sad, yes.
Not that it mattered anymore. Every box had been checked, every wrong was righted, every mistake was apologized for.
He was free.
He turned around, placing his heels on the edge of the ledge like a professional diver about to make an elaborate twist.
He heard the door bang open but his heart remained calm and steady.
He opened his eyes and a figure was running towards him.
No. He's not supposed to be here. He wasn't supposed to see.
But he wouldn't, no... he couldn't stop now.
He closed his eyes again and let the wind push him.
He fell backwards.
It happened to quickly. Too quickly to appreciate the moment. He fell fast, the top of the building and the person standing on it getting farther and farther away with each tiny millisecond that passed.
Then darkness.
Nothing.
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interpret it how you want
i kept my typical writing style but with no names, there are no characters, just thoughts i guess.
so regardless of whether this flops or not, im def gonna make a pov of the other person on the roof
but it's not like anyone reads my stuff unless it's smut tho so whatever
