I had this oneshot posted a long long long ass time ago but i removed it because i got sad. But whatever, it's back now :)
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K: Can you stop talking about her Mattia?
M: What do you mean?
Mattia had been talking about his latest girlfriend for the past thirty minutes and Kairi was beyond annoyed.
K: just stop talking about her for one fucking minute. Look Mattia. I didn't come to your house to talk about your stupid girlfriend ok?
Kairi didn't mean to be as harsh as he did and he instantly regretted it when Mattia's face fell slightly but his regret was instantly replaced with sadness and bitterness when Mattia shrugged it off.
M: You never cared if I talked about her before. You just mad that you don't have your own girlfriend?
Kairi felt his heart ache at the statement but he snapped back a response without thinking.
K: Fuck you! Just stop fucking talking about her! Goddamn.
Kairi stood up off of the bed and took a few steps away from Mattia, trying to calm his heavy breathing. Trying to keep his tears from falling. He ran his hands through his hair, his back still facing Mattia. Kairi hadn't even realized that he was shouting until Mattia shouted back.
M: Why are you getting all fucking defensive about it?!
K: Do you really want me to say it? Are you that fucking blind Mattia?!
M: What are you talking about Kai? I don't understand.
Kairi's anger and sadness finally boiled over. He spun around to face Mattia again shouting at him.
K: I'm in love with you! Fuck! I am fucking in love with you Mattia!
The room went silent for a couple seconds while Kairi watched Mattia's face range from shock to anger to guilt and then back to shock.
M: I-
K: I want to hold your hand in public, I want to go on cute dates to the fair and to the beach; and be so in love with you that people wish they were as happy as us!
Kairi felt his throat tightening and he knew he was going to start crying but he continued with a shaky voice.
K: I want to go to parties and introduce each other as boyfriends! I want to kiss you Mattia! God I want to kiss you so fucking bad! I want everything. I-I- Fuck. I want you to love me back. I want it with you-
Kairi's voice broke at the end of his sentence as he watched Mattia's face turn blank.
M: Kairi-I-
Kairi felt his heart break into a million pieces. He already knew what was coming next, he could see it written all over Mattia's face.
M: I-I can't feel the same way Kai. I just don't-
K: I know. I know Mattia, and that's why I'm leaving.
Kairi choked back a sob, trying to maintain whatever confidence and dignity he had left as he gathered his backpack and put his shoes on.
M: No! Stay! Kairi you're my best fucking friend. You're just gonna leave?
K: You really don't get it, do you?
Kairi's tears were falling freely now and he let them. Mattia stood up and tried to hug him but Kairi roughly pushed him away.
K: You don't get it Mattia! I don't want to be just your best friend! I fucking love you! I love you so goddamn much that it hurts! Every time you get a new girlfriend, it hurts! Every time you hug me, it hurts! Because it just reminds me that you will never feel the same about me! I can't do it anymore, neither of us deserve that. I'm sorry but I just can't. I'm leaving.
And so Mattia let him go. Kairi walked up the stairs and out of Mattia's front door without even saying goodbye. Without ever looking back.
Mattia stood in his bedroom, staring at the spot where Kairi had been standing a few seconds ago.
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tee hee
falling for people who can't love you back is kinda shitty.
!!! NEW CHAPTER OF KAIRIS THE TOP COMING TOMORROW :) !!!
