When I'm With You

Chapter 20

Rishma's Pov:

      What's wrong with him? Every day after class we go together, why he went alone today ? No messages and no calls from him yet. What is the urgent work? I wasted half an hour at the gate for waiting for him.

Arriving in front of the ice cream parlor we were still going to, a notice flew in the wind, distracting me from my anger. My eyes and head stretched in the direction it was going.

At the same time I saw another copy of that notice in the hand of a woman sitting on the bench of the parlor. I was curious to know what was in that notice.
I quickly went to the woman and asked, "Let me see what the notice is for."

She smiled and gave me a notice. I walked two steps forward and just glanced at what was in it.

The bold letters written on it filled my eyes.
"AUDITION" I forget the surroundings and shouted.

God, Chris will be very happy to see this notice. May be it could change his life. He may be able to make his dreams come true.
He will be surprised.

I quickly reached the Quarters, ran up the stairs and rang the calling bell. No response. None of his behavior can erase this joy. I slowly opened the door with a smiling face. No one was seen in the living room. I put the bag on the sofa and went to the dining room. There he is.

Wait. Don't break the surprise right now, play something and irritate him.
I struggled and changed the joy on my face and made it serious. I crossed both hands on my chest and asked,
"Why didn't you come with me today?"

" You know how to come alone. Then what's my need?" Chris said without interest to speak.

"We always come together. What's the matter today?" I raised my voice.

"I felt to come alone. Nothing else," he tightened his voice.

Oh, oh. I think your mood is not good now. But I have a thing to change your mood. So no matter show your anger as much as you can.
"Why are you talking like this?"

"I will speak the way I want" He jumped up from his chair and came towards me. I was shocked and scared to see his unexpected behavior and leaned against the wall.
Chris came up to me with red eyes and asked harshly, "Who are you to tell me not to do?"
His harsh tone and look shook me. I shuddered in fear. My eyes began to fill.
"You live the way you want. You go with the people you want to go to. You never asked me then, DID YOU?" he yelled.

"Have I ever left you alone before?" He came up to me and put his hand against the wall and shouted , " SAY"

I nodded and tried to say no.

His eyes stared at me. I can not say anything back. He moved to the dining table.

"Your thought is that you will live as you like, and I will be silent saying everything is okay."

"Rishma I always think only of you. Always. I'm always wondering if you're okay or not." he sighed.

"I'm adjusting and living here without a hitch for you. Why didn't you tell me that you went to the textile with Mrs. Masson?"

I remained silent, unable to say anything.

" TELL ME....." he yelled louder.

" I wanna give you a surprise " I said slowly in lower tone. But he's irritated with my reply.

"Yesterday your mother called and told me to stay away from you," he shouted again. "Am I a monster to get away from you?"

"Why your mother doesn't like me? Am I locking you up here? Am I physically abusing you?"
For all his questions I cried and nodded as no.

"Am I using you for sex?"

"Chris please stop this" I cried. I put my face against the wall and covered my face.

Suddenly he grabbed my shoulder and attached me to him,
"Say. If I didn't do this to you, then why does your mother hate me? Say"

I was terrified of his touch.

"Say. Did I do something to you like this?"

I remained‌ silent.

"TELL..." he shouted.

"No" I said in a stumbling voice.

Forcefully pushing me against the wall, he said calmly, "You don't know."

"You don't know, Rishma, how I feel about all this," he said, taking few steps back.

He slowly began to calm down.
"You don 't know. Because ---"
He stopped saying.

He looked into my eyes sadly and then continued,
"Because, you have everything."

"I'm always with you Chris" I tried to calm him down. But it worked adversely.

" THESE ARE ONLY BOOKISH WORDS." He shouted again.

Anger filled his eyes. "How long? How long will you be with me?" He stepped towards me and grabbed my shoulders tightly.

"Two years. You will go back to India after two years, won't you? You're a little girl Rishma. You don't know anything. You go back and live happily with your family and do a good job."

"But here I am, here I am, wandering around like a dog with the name of cinema. Didn't you keep me here to see me wander like that?"

"You stopped me when I was about to give up everything? Why? To see me lying idle without a job."

"No Chris, I never thought of that." I cried.
"Then what did you thought of?" he tightened his grip on my shoulders.

I'm hurting a lot. And it made me cry aloud.

"You're hurting me." My tears flowed like a river. The heat in my eyes made me cringe again.

"Oh did I hurt you? Huhh? Really?" I was pushed back.

"Do you know how much hurted I am?" he asked painfully.

I gently caressed my shoulder with my fingers.

"You don't know that how much I hurted and suffered." he yelled silenty.

I slowly looked up at his face.
"Because you don 't know who I am"
He ended with that.

I looked deep into his anger filled eyes with my teary eyes.

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM." He shouted aloud and aloud.

"I know"

Silence filled the room after my two words

He looked at me confused. We remained silent for a moment.

"I --- know --- who --- you --- are " I said strongly in my stuttering voice.

He still stared at me without any word. And I said,

"You are..."

                       
                      *********

What you guys thinking about?
What comes after " You are..."

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