Riordanverse One-Shots

(Hephrodite, Requested) I'm-hic-Not Druuunk!

Requested by: percyJackson1365

Trigger Warning: Brief mentions of nudity and a drunk goddess

Aphrodite was very drunk. You might not have thought a goddess could get drunk, but let me assure you she was more tipsy than Captain Jack Sparrow.

A couple tears trickled down her cheek as she watched Ares drive off with a girl under each arm. She giggled. Her head pounded as her brain danced around in her skull. She pulled out a ring of keys and leaned against the cool wall as she fumbled with them. One of the keys cut her hand a little and she giggled. She chose a random key and stabbed it at the hole. She missed. 

"Oopsie." She giggled again as she tried a different key, this time managing to fit it into the lock but it didn't work. Waves of nausea washed over her and she threw up in a nearby bed of daisies. A few soft thuds were heard from inside of the house followed by a click and an opening of the door. 

"Aphrodite?" Hephaestus said. Aphrodite straightened up, wobbly.

"Daaaarrrrrlllllliiiiiinnnnnnngggg!" She drawled and threw her arms around his neck and sloppily kissing his cheek. He pulled her into the house, locking the door behind them.

"Are you drunk?" He asked.

"Noooooooooooo." She said. "W-why?" She asked, hiccupping.

"Um. Ok. Let's get you into bed." 

"Noooo! I don't want to go to bed! I'm having fun!" She said and burst into another bout of tears.

"You're going to have a terrible headache in the morning." He said as he picked her up with ease.

"Don-don't threaten your w-wife." She said and slapped his head a little. "Especially since he-her heart i-is brooooken."

"Is that so?" He said and laid her down on her bed. They never shared a bed, Aphrodite had insisted.

"Ye-"She hiccuped. "Yes. Ares duuuuumped me. At the d-door." 

"Hmm." He said and handed her her nightgown. "You should get changed."

"Doooo you want to w-watch?" She said and threw out a hip. Hephaestus turned red.

"No. You're drunk. Just change quickly and I'll clean up the cut on your hand." Hephaestus said and shut the door. He heaved a sigh. He loved his wife, not because she was the most beautiful creature on earth (though she was), but because it was in the little things she showed herself. In her care for the flowers growing in her windowsill. In ordered dresses in the closet. In the careful matchmaking she did everyday. She created love, he created beautiful things. So why couldn't they be a beautiful couple?

"I'm dooone!" A squeal came from her bedroom. He opened the door cautiously, not wanting to be tricked into seeing her naked.

"Are you decent?" He said.

"Yeoop!"

She was. He took her hand and carefully bandaged it. He wondered if she'd remember this in the morning. Probably not. He put her back on the bed, placing the covers over her. Flipping the light off, he was about to close the door when I voice came from the inside.

"I looove you." He didn't reply. She was just drunk.

 "'Night. " He replied.

******

Hephaestus was right. She did have a headache. And a heartache. Ares had been terrible to her throughout the entire relationship and she had thought that maybe if she just stuck around a little longer it would get better. In a way it was better he dumped her, he was finally out of her life.

Following the scent of frying cheese she stomped down into the kitchen. It wasn't coming from there however and so she followed it down into the basement where she saw Hephaestus cooking on. . . well she couldn't tell what he was cooking on. It seemed to be a cross between a mortal washing machine and a gladius. 

All the chairs were covered in a variety of things, ranging from knives and bows to a small dragon and a crinkly leather hat whose folds made up a face like shape. And also a watermelon. So she took a seat on the floor.

"Morning." She said. Hephaestus obviously hadn't heard her come in because he jumped up and banged his head on the low ceiling.

"Oh, uh." He mumbled something about organic life forms. "Good morning? I made you an omelet."

"That's so sweet, thanks." She said as he handed her a plate with the omelet. It was partially burned.

"So, uh, are you feeling any better? You know with the whole Ares thing?" He asked. She smiled, realizing something. He actually cared. Ares had never cared how she was feeling, but here was her husband asking how she was feeling after breaking up with a guy she'd been cheating on him with!

"Better now that I'm with you." She said. She said things like that before but she this time she really meant it.

"Oh, uh. Cool." He said and took a seat beside her. She had to look up a good foot and a half to see his face properly. She slid her tiny hand into his big one, holding it tight. They sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes as she finished the omelet. 

"Nice omelet." She lied with a smile. Hephaestus just nodded. She leaned over, gently resting her head on his arm. Hephaestus' muscles tightened at the contact, but after a couple seconds they slowly loosened.

"I uh was wondering if you wanted to come with me, that is only if you wanted to-I don't want to pressure you into anything, to uh come with me to a, I mean go on a walk with me?"

"I love to." She said and he relaxed.

"Um, great!" Hephaestus said with a grin. "Great."

Ta-da!
Word count: 950