The Memories of Us

Chapter 12

I breathed out as I looked at everyone in the lobby. In front of me stood my friends. They were all looking rather dapper, in their black attire. My breathing was scarce, and I found myself frequently pinching the side of my wrist to remind myself that I was present. It was taking everything inside myself not to break down on the hardwood floor right now.

Ivy stood beside Julian, her tight black jumpsuit fit her silhouette perfectly, and matched her hair effortlessly. Jules laughed at something Ivy showed him off her phone. My eyes scanned the area and my breathing started to quicken. Emily had a strapless, flowing, maxi, dress on and was focused on fixing Eli's grey tie.

My head was pounding, and I felt like I was going to be sick. A soft hand pressed against the small of my back. "You okay, Ror?" I shook my head.

"I can't breathe". I grabbed the top of a chair and pulled it out, basically collapsing. Mason's hand rubbed circles on my back.

"It's going to be okay, Sunshine." He kissed the skin just below my ear. That spot burned, even after he removed his soft lips.

Was I going to be okay? The funeral starts in a mere half-hour, and I felt like I couldn't get up. Like I was glued to the wooden seat. I grabbed fistfuls of my hair, a relentless sob escaped from me. I can't go up in front of god knows how many people and talk about my dad, not when I felt so god damn weak. I couldn't even trust my own legs.

I could only hear the murmurs from what I could only assume were my friends, they were worried for me. But I couldn't even process what they were saying. My mind was fried. I was tired of thinking, tired of trying to predict my future, and tired of crying. I breathed in several shaky breaths.

"Why don't you guys go get in the car we'll be there in a few minutes." Mason grabbed a chair and sat beside me. Under a watery gaze, I saw Em give me a sad smile. "Rory, can you please look at me, honey?" I looked up at him. His hazel eyes were soft and kind as he looked at me, swallowing my soul.

"You'll get through this Rory, It's going to be an amazing funeral, one your dad deserves. If you want, I can stand up there, while you do your speech." He squeezed my arm. I nodded.

"I think that once I go there, reality will seep in. It's going to kill me to see him in that casket." Mason pulled me into a hug. "I know, baby, I know." I wiped my runny nose against the lace on the bell sleeve of my dress.

The pads of his fingertips swiped at the salty tears under my eyes. "Mace", I grabbed his wrists as his hands continued to hold my face. The words almost left my lips, I just about ruined the moment. I wanted to tell him I loved him, he was always there for me, I couldn't think of anyone more faithful.

"We should go", he nodded and intertwined our hands.

The six of us were the first ones at the funeral home, I couldn't dare to go look at the wooden coffin. Not yet. We sat in the very front of the room. Slowly people started to sift in. A small smile made its way onto my face as Mrs. AR came in. Behind her entered Liam, Ben, Michael, Isaac, and Mr. Albert. The whole lot greeted us and paid their dues, before sitting together. Next, several townspeople flooded in. Mr. and Mrs. Dober, Marge, and Mary Lu; some familiar faces from the church. By quarter to, the entire room was full. And the overflow room was almost near capacity. I had greeted probably near a hundred people. Some of who I knew but many who I hadn't. 

It was all a blur; everyone came within in a few seconds and were seated in less. My breathing was uneven when the lights dimmed. The slideshow started, and a picture of my dad and I popped up. It was from a day when we went to watch one of the local baseball teams. Both of us were cheesing hard and wearing matching red ball caps; mine was slightly too big and falling into my eyes. I reached out and grabbed Mason's large hand, squeezing it.