Tomorrow is my wedding... HOLY SHIT!! I'm getting married tomorrow. How is this just registering in my brain now, I always knew I was getting married. But now that it's happening I don't believe it. I'm about to marry the man I love, he's my forever and my always. I've been up all morning re-writing my vows, I had them written out months ago but they didn't seem right. Then this morning when I started a new set everything completely changed, and I'm doing something a little different in mines than people would expect. David's staying at our house with his friends and I'm staying with Courteney at her house. Everything is ready for tomorrow and right now what I need to do is relax. I run a bath in the guest room where I've been staying. I pour myself a glass of wine and take sometime it think.
I always pictured walking down the aisle with my dad in my arm and all my family and friends. I wanted her to be here, I really and truly did, but after everything that happened between us I just couldn't bare to invite her. She took things from me that took me a while to build back up such as, my confidence, self love, happiness and much more. Luckily for me one person really helped me out with that and that's David. Being with him gives me confidence that what I'm doing is right, because seriously, I must be doing something right to have him in my life. The last few years has been the best time of my life and I'm finally ready to start a new chapter with the one I love. My thoughts go back to my mother once again. Even without being in contact with her she still somehow has this power over me. Right here and now is me finally letting go. I'm ready to let go of her, I'm ready to stop worrying about how she thinks about me. Because at the end of the day, the only opinion on myself that matters is mines. Not even David's. His opinion won't change me, only mines will and can. Although he has bettered me his opinion on me won't mould who I am.
Im pulled away from my thoughts when I feel a shiver run down my spine. The waters colder, there's no bubbles left and the air is chilly. I unplug the bath and get out, I grab a towel from the rack and wrap it around my body. I'll get a shower again in the morning for Chris doing my hair, that's why I didn't wash it. Once I'm dry I put on a long nighty that reaches my ankles, I tie my hair into a side braid and say goodnight to Courteney. I get settled into bed as drift off in peace.
...
(May 25th 1999)
"Get up sleepy head... Chris and Angela are nearly here." Courteney lightly shook my shoulders and pulled the covers off of me.
"Mmm... what time is it?" I ask while rubbing my eyes and sitting up.
"6:30 breakfast is ready too." We both go downstairs and eat a smoothie bowl with fruit and granola on top. "How are you feeling?"
"Nervous, excited... happy. A lot of mixed feelings." I get up from the counter and rinse my bowl in the sink. The door knocks and Courteney goes to answer it. Not long later Andrea, Lisa, Angela and Chris come in with Courteney.
"Happy wedding day!" Andrea runs over and hugs me, I then go and hug everyone else.
"Thank you guys... okay let's get to work." The girls get their hair done while I get my make up done. We are all getting very simple yet effective makeup looks. Not long after after we switch around, the girls get the same hair from the girls in the pictures from wedding dress shopping. I get a low bun with a braid from the front to back and a small hair piece. My hair is curled before hand, it's then put into a bun so I can easily get Chris to take it out at the reception.
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