By New Year's Eve.

Chapter 23 - Sebastian

Pain. Irritation. Anger. Happiness. Weirdness. I woke up feeling the mix of emotions. Then I realized I am also feeling a little cold. And my bed does not feel very soft. I rubbed the sleep off my eyes and looked around. As I did, I realized my bed is not soft because it is not my bed. I fell asleep on the floor in the living room. Great! Why did Liv not wake me? That made me sit up and realize I am still in a little pain. It's not like last night, it almost like a dull sensation of pain. It might be because I didn't keep on applying the ice pack. After the first one, I didn't want my hands to freeze and so I didn't apply anymore. I should have now that I think about it.

I am still a little irritated that Liv never woke me up and let me sleep on the floor. Not even on the couch. But that irritation soon dissipated as I looked at the couch and saw the three of them sound asleep. Liv, Mac and Sophia are all on the couch. No one went to bed last night. They all stayed here to keep me company and I was getting irritated because Liv didn't wake me up. I would gladly sleep on the floor, seeing as she slept on the hard couch with Mac and Sophia, that too sitting. Not even lying down. At least I was lying. Why must Liv care about me so much? It makes me feel so bad about myself. It makes me even madder at myself when I realized I have been jealous of Liv. I did think of not letting Mac know that Liv likes her but maybe...well I can think about it later. I mean my sister literally sat here on the couch all night just so I wouldn't feel alone when I wake up in the morning. She is the perfect little sister anyone could ask for.

With a bright smile, I got from the floor and felt a blanket fall. That made me look down and notice the blanket that was covering me. Damn. I picked it up and laid it on Liv's sleeping form. I gently kissed her head. Liv gave me a sweet smile because of that and turned her head. She is still sound sleep. I shook my head and smiled at Liv's cuteness. Taking a shower and getting ready for the day would help. I know Liv would ask for my help to decorate again. I am sure she is not finished with decorating the house. She goes all out every year. And decorating the tree is left. That would be fun. Hope Sophia doesn't have to leave soon.

That thought made me smile. It also reminded me of our kiss last night. I know I got kneed because I kissed Sophia again. But it was worth it. The kiss was perfect. It made me think was I chasing an imagination all along? I mean I dreamt that kissing Mac would be like that? I dreamed and imagined how it would be like with Mac, our relationship, our kiss. So far nothing has matched up to my imagination. I mean even if we are fake dating Mac is barely alone with me. She will not kiss me no matter what. And I don't feel the connection that I feel with Sophia. Have I just been chasing something imaginary all this time when the real thing has been in front of me all along? Does this mean I will let Mac go? I don't think so.

Even though I think Mac is not into me, and I pretty sure we do not have any connection. Also, sure that she will not fall in love with me. But am I ready to let her go? No. Hell no. I guess I can understand stuff, but I am still me. And this is the same girl whom I had a crush on for about one and a half year now. I am definitely not letting her go. Then what about Sophia? I mean I like her, but I cannot pursue her while I am still with Mac. Even though our relationship is fake, and we will end it by New Year's Eve. Wait a second, we are ending this fake relationship in few days. And Mac will be spending Christmas with us. Is now my last chance to make Mac fall for me? I mean yeah, I kissed Sophia last night, I liked it. But it is Mackenzie Wilson. I don't think there is even a question. I will obviously not let this opportunity go by me.

Feelings. Specifically, Liv's feelings about Mac. Which I am sure about now by the way. The way they held each other's pinkies last night on the couch, just like they did at the dance. It did make me angry and jealous of Liv. Angry because of all the girls she could like she chose Mac. The first-person Liv could have had a crush on, it had to be the girl I am in love with. Why Liv? I don't think Sophia knows though, although she might figure it out. With how blatant they are with their feelings. Liv's especially. I mean I think Mac's too, but I am not so sure about it.