By New Year's Eve.

Chapter 28 - Olivia

After the fiasco that was Christmas this year. Kenzie and I became very close. She would be by my side always. Not in a clingy manner, more of a loving, caring girlfriend manner. I love it though. Yet, I am a little worried that, it will change once school reopens. We have not discussed if we are going to tell anyone in school. The plan Seb made earlier was they would break up after New Year's Eve. Well not according to Seb but according to what he told Kenzie. Now, I don't know. Because according to Seb, Kenzie was supposed to fall in love with him and they would have started their real relationship. Only Kenzie did start a real relationship but with his sister.

There is one person I want to tell but I don't know how to. And I do not want to offend Kenzie. Right now, she is the only one holding me together. After Seb's words cut through me, something in me broke. I do not know how to explain it but Seb broke me. He hurt me this time really. I remember the time he yelled and punched David, I thought of scenarios where he will shout at me again, and even physically hit me. Well, I don't think any of those imaginary scenarios were as bad as it was on Christmas. I just don't know this time, if he can apologize. More like I don't how his apologizes will fix this. I think Kenzie knows this. I am not sure should I be happy or scared about it.

Sophia. The one person I want to tell that Kenzie and I are together. That I possibly love Kenzie. I know she will be happy for me. I know she will not question me. She has been my best friend for a while. But then I remember what Seb told me the morning after Christmas. Sophia has yet to tell me about that kiss. Although I think she will try not to, because she knows I am friends with Mac, who she thinks is Seb's actual girlfriend. Wait so she knowingly kissed Seb? That's so not like the Sophia I know. That makes me question do I really know her. I mean yeah, she never said anything against gay couples. Then again, neither did Seb regarding what he really thinks about me.

Guess I am not going to tell Sophia after all. I can, I mean I used to trust her. But I used to trust Seb too. I used to think he actually loved me. Since that is now questionable. I don't think I am sure of anything anymore. I mean Seb called me a liar. That was not the biggest thing. He literally told me what I have been afraid of for years now. That mom and dad really didn't want me. I mean yeah mom told me why they suddenly started working too much. But that does not make me feel that there is something wrong with me. I remember when Seb yelled those things to me, I remember the look he had on his face. It was his honest face. He was not lying. So, I was not the only one who thought that, or felt that. He did too, which is why he had his honest face on Christmas. Wait so that means Kenzie does not really like me either? Is that why she is around me so much now? Does she feel guilty for lying to me? Did she lie about the fact that she loves me?

I put my hand in my hair and sit down on my bed. I thought I was in my shower. When did I reach my room? Dammit. I was lost in my mind again. Like for the past two days I have been. I have been distracted. I am not being myself apparently according to well Kenzie, mom and dad. What do they expect? That I will not think? That I will what? Move on or something as if Seb didn't just tell me things I have been thinking myself. Except I never thought I was a liar. I don't think I have ever lied. Yeah, I did omit to mention to Kenzie when she asked me who the girl was in Seb's lie. Yeah, I did not tell Seb about Kenzie and me. But those were not lies, were they? I mean I never lied about the fact that I never had crush before Kenzie, and I never lied that Kenzie is my first kiss. I feel like I don't know anything anymore.

"Liv you ready?" Dad asked from downstairs.

"In a minute." I replied.

"Okay honey, take your time." Dad's reply came instantly. I rolled my eyes.

This is how my parents are treating me now. They are talking to me as if I am something fragile. Well, I don't think I am. I have no idea what I am though. I feel hurt, broken. And a little lost, most of the times. I cannot really look at Seb not that he looks at me. The only word Seb utters to me now is 'sorry'. Every freaking time he sees me, he says he is sorry. I am tired of hearing it and I do not know how long before I snap and tell him to stop. I get that he feels guilty, but I don't know how to move past it yet. And Seb saying sorry is only reminding me about it, thus inadvertently starting this thought process.