By New Year's Eve.

Chapter 31 - Sebastian

Waking up with a smile etched across my face is not a common occurrence. And certainly not recently. But something about waking up today just made me smile. I cannot say I am exactly super happy or excited. Well about today or how my life is currently going. I mean I am responsible for destroying whatever was good in my life, namely Liv. I destroyed her spirit. And even if she says she is okay and she says she forgave me; I know she can never really forgive me. Or I guess even I cannot forgive myself for saying all those things to Liv that too on Christmas, hence destroying Christmas. And I know how much Christmas means to Liv. I am certainly the worst big brother on the planet.

'You are not the worst on the planet, but you may come close to second.' My brain tells me. I scoff and thank my brain for the 'support' it offers me. And then I feel the smile again on my face. I guess even in the condescending tone my brain informed me, it might be right after all. Yet, I am smiling because of none other than Liv. She did something that is making me smile. I can say it is about yesterday, but it is not, instead it's about the simple fact that she found love. And the fact my little sister is in love and in a relationship is making me so happy for her. Even though she loves the same girl, I have been in love with for a long time. I can clearly see how perfect they are for each other. I feel stupid now to think, I ever stood a chance to separate those two. I mean I know Mac is gay, but I didn't know that until recently, I just thought I needed to separate Liv and Mac. Yeah, I know now that's not going to happen. Also, isn't it ironic for me to think that I will help them stay together forever now? It just might be the most ironic thought; I have ever thought of after just waking up.

I clean up and go down for breakfast. I see my parents there and Liv who is offering me coffee. I smile and take it from her stretched hand. She gives me a small soft smile. I can see the pain behind it clear as a day. But I can also see she is trying to hide it behind her smile. She is putting on a face for today, after all today is New Year's Eve. That made me chuckle suddenly. That made Liv look at me weirdly and mom is giving me a questioning look. Dad just seems angry. Wait do they think I am drunk or high? I shake my head; I do not want to get angry or even think of them imaging that as a possibility.

"Seb why are behaving like a crazy human being?" Liv asks as I sit beside her instead of opposite her.

"I just remembered today is New Year's Eve. That means today was supposed to be the last day of my fake relationship according to the stupid plan I once made."

"Ah yes. That plan. I remember. Well, it did let Kenzie and I meet so...I don't know if I would call it stupid but yeah other than that it was." I just look at Liv shocked. She chuckles lightly and flicks my forehead.

I rub the spot. "Ow Liv. Did you had to flick my forehead?" I ask amused.

"Yes, dear brother of mine. You were shocked and I...I don't know...I am trying Seb. I am trying to be past that, but it becomes difficult for me from time to time. So, I guess be prepared to be flicked from time to time." I look at Liv and see that she has her head down. I know I hurt her a lot. But seeing her like this makes all the oxygen leave my body and I deflate.

"I am so sorry Liv."

"Yeah, well that won't take away what happened Seb. I know you are sorry. And I also know you. So, I am trying to move past it, it's not always easy."

"I understand." I mumble softly as I drink the dark liquid.

"Anyways let's not dwell on it and bring the mood down. We have a party tonight to get ready for and after all tomorrow will be a new year. So, Seb how about this? New Year, new us?" Liv asks me. Her eyes hold so much pain, yet she is smiling.