By New Year's Eve.

Chapter 2 - Olivia.

"What do you put in a contract for a real relationship?" As Lara Jean asks Peter in the movie, 'To All the Boys I've Loved Before' I look at my brother Sebastian. He is watching this movie with me again. I love to watch this movie because of the sweet development of Lara Jean and Peter's relationship. I even love Lara Jean's family scenes. I have seen this movie so many times yet every time I watch it, I give my full attention to it. The only thing that made me look at my brother is the fact that he never complains whenever I propose to watch this movie.

"You gonna break my heart Covey?" As Peter asks Lara Jean in the movie, I feel my heart jump just like every time it does, I watch this movie. I don't really know why I love to see this movie so much. But I have pretty good idea. It is because of the family scenes. The sister scenes much more than the love-story. True I love the love-story, the dialogues, their acting. But it is the family scenes that get me. I miss my parents. They are always so busy all the time. My brother and I practically live alone. Since my parents are rarely home. If they are ever home, we get to know that in the morning when we see either a sticky note from them about coming back late last night or some money along with a note to help us order food. I cannot remember the last time I actually had a conversation with them. Even during Thanksgiving, they were busy. They had to make the perfect meal. Every year we would host a huge Thanksgiving for our family. That includes our Aunts and Uncles and their kids as well our grandparents.

This year Thanksgiving was rough for my brother. All our cousins kept on teasing him because he doesn't have a girlfriend and he is a senior. Okay he is the eldest among all of us and that makes him like a leader or something. I am not sure but that was one of the points cousin Andy made. 'How is Sebastian supposed to set an example for us if he is not even dating as a senior?' I felt like he is angry because his parents won't let him date because Sebastian isn't. Sebastian is very different than Andy, we all know this and the fact that not everyone is same. Yet our family try to infuse every one of us together. Like we have to behave the same way, dress the same way. I don't know it feels weird. It is weird I know. I am just glad that nobody asked me regarding my love-life. I do feel guilty that Seb got the worst of it.

I will be 16 by next February and yet I do not know who I like. When my friends ask me, which guy is the hottest? I stare at them. Because honestly, I have no idea. What even defines this said hotness level. I do not get it. Maybe I am weird. My friend Sophia says I just need time to figure myself out. Maybe she is right. I do need time. I do not think I like guys though but then again; I do not find girls that attractive either. I guess I am weird. My brother has crushes and then he just likes to daydream about being with his crush. And when the said crush inevitably does not return his feelings he is crushed. This happened a few times for me to know now how to react, what to do all those things. And here I am a 15-year-old without ever having a crush on anyone.

My brother Sebastian is a hardcore romantic guy. He would very much bring you flowers for your date; pick you up from your house not just honk the car horn. He would hold the door for you even. Only thing he solemnly hates is the fact nobody believes him when he does this. People say he is being nice just to sleep with the girl, but I know that is the last thing on his mind. I mean yeah, he is a guy but for him it is more about showing the girl he likes a good time. I am sure he would love to do 'that' with a girl but only after the girl is comfortable and they have been dating for a while. Again, another thing no one believes in school. Thus, all these stuffs make it hard for Seb to be taken as anything but a joke.

You might think how would I know he is my brother? Obviously, he wouldn't tell me. You're wrong. He tells me everything and it is the same for me. Our sibling bond is different than other sibling bonds. We tease each other from time to time but never fight with each other. We also know that we are the only two people who are there for each other, for the rest of the people there is no guarantee. And since our parents are pretty much absent, I think this bond has only grown. I just want my brother to be happy and I know he is hurting right now because of all the teasing he faced last Thursday at Thanksgiving. If only I could help him feel better.