By New Year's Eve.

Chapter 14 - Olivia

Avoidance. That is exactly what I have been doing for the past week approximately. To be fair I am avoiding my brother, who scared me. But I am not avoiding Seb for that reason. I am avoiding him because I cannot face him after Mackenzie and mine weekend sleepovers. Yes, plural. And something happened. Something so unexpected at least for me that it knocked me off my feet. Well made me fall off Mackenzie's bed literally.

I know that Seb yelling and punching his best friend was not huge. It was to me at least on Friday. Then the sleepover happened, and my crush grew on Mackenzie. Followed by lunch with Charlie and people from Cape Creek. That matters because during that lunch I realized that I actually do like Mackenzie, something I have been avoiding to accept. Then Mackenzie and I had another sleepover. Now this one was not like a sleepover at all. In fact, it felt different, it was different. We cuddled. That is not something you do with the love of your brother's life or the girl you have a crush on. Do you? I did. And I didn't feel guilty the next morning when I woke up spooning Mackenzie. I loved it, the feeling of her arms touching mine, her soft breath on my shoulder. It felt warm to me.

Guilt struck me when I returned home on Sunday later on. When I saw Seb's face. His hopeful, sorry face. He was sad because he thought I was angry with him. Well, I was not angry, I was hurt at first. Then that turned into fear by my own means. I imagined bad things and got afraid. Finally, ending in guilt. And the reading days didn't help. Also, the fact that Mackenzie texted me continuously to study together. Plus, dad was home. That is technically unrelated, but it was shocking for me. Seb was also following me around the house not saying a word. I figured he wanted to apologize but had no idea how to start. So, I went to the library along with Seb and Mackenzie. Bad idea. Very bad idea.

Sebastian, my brother who is technically in love with Mackenzie wants to make Mackenzie fall in love with him. And Mackenzie is gay but is pretty comfortable hiding in the closet. And guess who she told this to? Me, Sebastian's freaking sister. Why? Because...I think I have an idea, but I am not certain as Mackenzie became extremely shy and flustered as she tried to tell me the reason but then stopped. But now I know the reason Sebastian's plan would fail and I cannot tell him. I will never out Mackenzie or break her trust but what am I supposed to do about Sebastian's trust? I mean he is my brother, my best friend. He is my Seb. How can I lie to him? How can I even hide this from him when I have never really hidden anything from him?

Avoidance. That's my best route now till I figure out what to do. But Seb's letter, the one he gave me last night. Yeah, that broke my heart. I cannot lie to him and I definitely cannot avoid him anymore. I need to do something. I have to. I came to school early to think, to decide. But instead, I cried for liking Mackenzie, for kissing her, even if it was just a onetime thing. For cuddling her. And for thinking and hoping Mackenzie likes me too as much as I am starting to like her. Is it even possible to feel so much attraction for someone so fast? If only I could talk to someone about it. But I can't. I am lying to everybody around me, including myself. I am lying to myself about the simple fact that it is going to be okay when I know I would be the one to break my brother's heart this time. And there is nothing I can do about it.

As soon as exam was over, I caught Sophia by her arm and pulled her towards the cafeteria. I have to wait for Seb's exam to get over and I need my best friend, who has been avoiding me. I want to talk to Soph. I guess I can considering she thinks Seb and Kenzie are really dating. But am I ready to tell her or anyone for that matter that I like Kenzie, a girl? A senior girl, who will be graduating soon when I have two years of high school still left. Sophia gave me a look as I continued to pull her towards the cafeteria. She tried to fight me but then eventually gave up and now here we are sitting, facing each other with sandwiches and chips in between us. The only noise I can hear is us chewing the food. No one else seems to be here in the school cafeteria right now. Why would they be here? Freshmen I don't think they have an exam today. We had one exam, and juniors I have no idea about them, but seniors have two exams and their second exam sort of just started.