but the wait will be worth it

chapter six

I ran.

I ran away, away from that hallway.

Even though I could faintly hear the painful cries coming from him as I left, I kept running.

"Harry? Hazza? Where'd you go?"

I didn't look back. I didn't turn to see the expression on his face. I just couldn't bear it.

I ran and ran, out to the parking garage. I'm not sure if he ran after me. I thought I heard footsteps at one point, but maybe I had just wanted to hear them. I wanted him to run after me, of course I did. But in a way, I'm glad he didn't. I could never accept this reality if he showed once again, how much I meant to him.

I got into the garage and ran to our car. I didn't even care that he had driven here with me, and that he wouldn't have a ride home now. But then again, he didn't have a home. His things would be out of my apartment in less than 3 days. I got into the car and slammed the door.

I wish I could've peeked into the rear view mirror. I wish I had the courage to look at his face one more time, and still drive away. But I didn't. I needed to be brave, so that part of me that was in love with him would eventually leave. My eyes stayed on the road ahead of me as I sped out of the garage and onto the road.

I wish I could completely block him out of my mind.

I wish the image of him running after me in the hallway would soon stop coming back to haunt me.

And I wish that he hadn't left his jacket in my passenger seat, just sitting there, wanting to be worn.

Driving in this car, leaving Louis behind me, suddenly brought me back to my earlier daydream. That time, a long time ago, when I had left Louis to stand up for our love, not run away from it as I was now.

It suddenly all came back to me. The sound of my wheels against the pavement, looking back at him in the mirror of my car. How his face looked, standing outside of the hotel, holding the birthday present that he had not been able to give me. Just like now, the sound of his voice would fill my emotions. His worried, concerned, kind voice would make me want to kiss him and hug him and tell him all of my fears. I was leaving to defend him, us, after Louis was told to not be himself. I remember now. He had called me up while listening to the radio in our room. I was almost at my destination, the local entertainment headquarters in Paris....

One year earlier
February 1, 2011

'Take me back
To the night we met,' the other phone line's radio sang quietly from my phone speaker.

"Louis, what are you listening to? I can call you back later, you know," I said into the phone. I was on my way to the headquarters, after One Direction's publicist had called Louis and I in. Louis didn't want to go, but had I left without him.

I had assumed he would be angry with me, but I guess not. He called me about 5 times before I finally picked up. It seemed he had the radio on in his room, as I could hear music in the background of his call. I waited for him to come back on the phone as I drove. He had left me on the call a few minutes after I picked up the phone to go get something.

His voice finally came through the other end. "No Harry, stay on!" He responded.

I was almost in the parking lot of the headquarters, so I needed to end the call. Also, I didn't want him to convince me to give up and come home. I made up a lie to get him off the line.

"My line is getting fuzzy. I'll call you back later!" I yelled into the phone on my dashboard.

"Harry! We can't let a fuzzy cellphone line separate us! Stay on the phone!" Louis yelled back eagerly. I pulled in to the closet parking spot without responding.