but the wait will be worth it

chapter thirty eight

Present day
One week later
September 29th 2012

'Dear Hazza,

I miss seeing your smile first thing in the morning. That's something I've been thinking about a lot lately.

I loved your letter, although it seemed a bit unfinished. You didn't even manage to sign your name! It's okay, though. Of course I knew that it was from you. I hope that everything went okay with Mr. MacHeath and the boys last week. I know our boys, and they're not ones to hold grudges. Well, maybe Liam. But for him, you've just got to work extra hard to get his friendship back. And trust me, he's worth fighting for.

It made my heart warm to see that you had written me back. I sure as hell wasn't expecting that. But you know me, texting hasn't always been a favorite of mine. I like the old fashioned loveliness of letters. Feels like I'm way back in the 50s. Speaking of letters, sorry this one is so delayed from when you first wrote me. I needed some time to gather my thoughts, think of what I was going to say next. Because, Harry, sorry but not every letter can consist of me declaring my love for you. Other things have got to be said, yeah? ;)

Emma told me about what happened last Thursday. These are the times when I wish I would've just held onto you so tightly that morning, and wouldn't have let go. And Harry, I know how scary it is to face that on your own. I had to a few years back, and I couldn't even bring myself to tell you the half of it. But if you'd just pretend that I'm right there with you, I promise it will be okay. That's what I did, after all.

Don't be too terrified of MacHeath, he's just trying to scare you. And if I know my Hazza, I know that you can stand up for yourself when you really need to. Maybe, the universe just brought all of this upon us to help you be more confident. Who knows. I've never believed in any of that zodiac stuff.
Either way, I know how brave you are. And I know how strong you are. Your strength is just a little bit farther underneath the surface, and you tend to come across quite shy at first. But if anyone knows how to switch you from shy to bold, it's me ;).

Take deep breaths often, and hold somebody's hand when yours start to tremble. Emma won't be with you much longer, she's gonna come back to Doncaster with me. But as much as you may hate to hear it, Clara might be a nice person for comfort.

I love you so much Harry. Saw your face on Twitter this morning and couldn't help but smile. You get even more beautiful every day. Keep your head up, darling.

Missing your eyes, Louis xx'

I stared at the letter for a moment before sealing it back up into the envelope. Then, I lightly tossed it into the hat box on my bed to be with Louis' letter from last week.

I was quite excited to start collecting Louis' letters. I hoped he had kept mine, in a drawer beside his bed or something. I was sure he had.

Turned back to the bed frame, I rubbed Clara's leg from under the covers. I was sitting at the end of the bed, after taking a shower. It was about 7:45 in the morning, and I wasn't sure why I had woken up so early on a Saturday. Just habit, I guess.

Clara groaned from under all of the blankets. "Tired," she mumbled.

I laughed before sliding the hat box under my bed, where Clara wouldn't find it.