but the wait will be worth it

chapter twenty nine

"Harry..." Emma mumbled as I continued to kiss her, moving along her jawline and neck. I was pecking at the skin just below her ear when she gently pushed me off of her, sitting up on the bed.

I sat there, disoriented and confused for a second before diving back into her warmth, locking my lips with hers once more. After a minute, Emma protested again, bringing her face away from mine.

"But Emma... I love you..." I slurred while grabbing onto her palm. I pressed my lips along the outside of her arm before she picked up my hand and sat it on my lap, just staring intensely into my eyes with a small smile.

Taken aback, I frowned and inched away from her. "Why won't you love me..." I cried and got up from the bed. Emma's now tear filled eyes followed mine as she took my hand once more, staring up at me.

"Harry," she spoke softly and steadily, "Harry, everything will be okay, I promise you..."

"No!" I shouted out. "You won't love me, Louis won't love me.... just fucking kiss me, Emma! Kiss me and I'll be happy again, I promise."

Emma now had tears streaming from her tired face, as she seemed to have been recovering from the alcohol a bit. "You are happy," she whispered.

A bawl of fire burned through my eyes and they began to sting. I stared furiously at Emma. "No I fucking am not! Haven't been happy since February..." I slurred.

Emma took a deep and shaky breath. "Harry, I can't kiss you. I'm sorry," she whispered calmly as the room went quiet. Only my distressed sobs could be heard amongst the stillness of the night.

"Why not," I choked out. Emma shook her head with saddened eyes.

"Harry, you don't want me to kiss you. You're just lonely... you're lonely, and gay, Harry. You're gay! You said it yourself on the plane. You don't want to kiss me. And you don't love me. You love Louis, darling."

I stood a distance from Emma, infuriated by her words. She softly stood up, taking my head and bringing it to her shoulder. I let out multiple tears before she kissed my forehead gently while leaning her head against mine.

Feeling embarrassed and slightly less drunk, I stumbled out of the room. Emma let me, and watched as I ran into the hallway, and entered the elevator. I was sure she knew exactly where I was going.

When arriving at the first floor, I ran out to the pool. Hopelessly, I looked around the crowded pool, sun beginning to set. I stumbled around as others watched, frightened by my possible motives.

Finally, I spotted him alone by the hot tub, smiling with his feet dangling in the warm water. Almost tripping on the way there, I approached him wearily while still drunkenly trying to figure out what the fuck I was even doing.

Louis stood up after noticing me, shyly placing arms over his unclothed stomach. Shivering in the now cold afternoon, I trembled over to him. I sniffled in the midst of my obscurity, stepping over closer to his warmth.

Louis looked worried and concerned. "Hey, Harry, I was just about to call you. I don't know if you've seen Twitter, but everyone has these pictures of you and Emma at a park and they're saying that—"

"Hold me," I interrupted.

Louis shot an eyebrow up. "What?" He laughed.

My lips remained straight as a line, eyes blank and focused on nothing else but his. "Hold me," I repeated.

Louis bit his lip confused, and pulled my shuddering body into a hug, awkwardly wrapping his arms around me. His hold tightened once I hugged him back.