but the wait will be worth it

chapter twenty four

Present Day
One week later
July 11th 2012

Louis' wrist seemed to have been healing naturally, even as he had to wear a cast.

Ironically, Clara was the first person who had wanted to sign his cast.

That day I had stayed over night at the hospital with Louis had made me feel a whole lot better about our situation, as we kind of had an understanding. Although, I wasn't quite sure what that understanding even was yet.

The nurse had come in, and told me to leave as she had to run some tests. They put his wrist in a cast, and, that was the end of that.

I sure was glad that this little accident hadn't been more than just a broken wrist and a few bad memories.

Louis got a pink cast, which I thought was weird.

I mean, normally it wouldn't be that unusual. But pink? I mean, say it's just promoting toxic masculinity, but pink is a very feminine color. Usually I would argue that colors have no gender, and all that shit. But for Louis; he's lately been right on the edge of the straight stereotype.

No 'girl' colors, no mention of makeup or even wearing 'girly' clothes. I never really understood why Louis had just switched to this persona. I mean, truthfully, he wasn't always like this.

He used to like dressing up. Yeah, about a year ago.

Whenever we were home, Louis would put on a bit of makeup. Sometimes even a full face of it. He had enjoyed it so much, that in fact, he even wore a bit of eyeshadow or mascara outside often.

He would always do this thing, on Saturday nights. If the boys were out, or just having a quiet one for once, Louis enjoyed making the lonesome evening fun for the two of us.

I would come home, from the store or something, and there he would be. Dressed in a night gown, eyelashes curled and a long, green feather boa around his neck.

I would just laugh, or tease about how much like a drag queen he looked. But Louis, he really loved to dress feminine. And wear feminine makeup, and act feminine.

Now, I realize that there are really no walls between masculine and feminine. I mean, it's really all the same, isn't it? I've always called Louis pretty without seeing anything too deep behind it.

The change between masculinity and femininity does show sometimes, though. Just like how I saw it in Louis, when he loved to dress up and wear makeup around the house, dancing around in his pajamas. Because up until a year ago, he loved to do that; it's true.

But that switch; it happened around sometime in the past year I think.

The switch from loving to wear fake eyelashes at home and trying on different shades of lipstick at the store, to getting pissed when I even mention wearing the color pink, or something.

And that is weird, for Louis perhaps. Because Louis never used to understand the boundaries between pink and blue. The boundaries between a man wearing a skirt and wearing shorts. But all of a sudden, it had just become this whole big thing.

Louis was never one to care about what people thought of him, either.

This one day, he had tossed out all his mascara, returned all his eyeshadow to his sisters, and given all his necklaces and boas to Goodwill. It all happened in one day, which I always found quite interesting.

Although I had never found enough strength to ask why these changes were being made.

That same day, Louis' smile had disappeared, too.