Our Darkest Memories

~ Lost Memory

7 Weeks before forgetting

As I was looking at the moon through the leaves of the trees above us, the fire crackled peacefully and provided the necessary warmth in these chilly months. Blaze had proposed to simply light it with her talent, but, like the gentleman he thought he was, Raiden politely refused and made a fire on his own.

I was starting to believe that this guy really was Tarzan. He knew everything about surviving. It kind of fascinated me how he could get a fire burning so quickly, but I didn't let it show.

That's how it had been the last week. Raiden tried his best and I kept a distance between us.

I felt kind of guilty towards him for doing it, but I just didn't want to get close to him. Not because he wasn't nice but just because... What if he pretended? What if it was all a plan? What if he just wanted to gain our trust so he could later deliver us to the PSFs?

Deep inside, I knew that that wasn't true, but I didn't want to trust my feelings anymore. They had been wrong before, right?

I just didn't want to trust any more people than necessary, and the only person that was necessary to trust was Blaze. Not Raiden.

"Are you warm enough?"

I was startled from my thoughts when Raiden sat down beside me on a fallen tree trunk.
"Not yet, but it's getting there."

"Really? Because to me, you look hot."
He grinned and I rolled my eyes. Blaze, who was sitting opposite of me, saw it and tried to smile without us seeing it.

I had noticed that Blaze started to become fond of Raiden, which worried me the most. Blaze lost her friends, her parents, and her grandma already and she always kept her head up, no matter what. I just worried that this would be the one that would break her.

"What are you laughing at?" I grumbled.

Blaze quickly squinted her eyes and said impudently: "You two make a hilarious pair."

I felt all blood rush to my cheeks and bowed my head. Raiden, who noticed my discomfort, tried to change the subject.

"You have some guts to talk to the elderly with that tone," he jokingly said. Blaze smirked.
"Anyway, I will collect some more wood-" He pointed to our cozy campfire. "-to keep it burning."

The moment I saw him disappear in the darkness, I walked towards Blaze and sat next to her on a tree stump.

"You know that we have to leave him right?"

Blaze looked at me with shock. The fire reflected in her charcoal grey eyes.
"I thought-... I thought that this time, we would stay."

I took a breath. I was right, she let herself get attached, thinking that we would hang around with him.

I shook my head.
"You know we can't do that."

Her face turned a little mad and disappointed, but not because of having to leave. She was disappointed in me.

"Well, maybe you should explain it to me because I don't. You know, every time we get around people, you say we have to leave. And we do. We leave. But we don't have to keep doing that."

I bit my lip when I felt my eyes water from thinking about the last time.

"I know it sucks, but it's just-... I don't-..."
I didn't know what to say.
"I just want us to be safe and-... and we can keep each other safe. We don't need anyone else. And what if..."
I was stammering. I knew I was, but I just didn't want to say it out loud.