Our Darkest Memories

13. Opening the Past

6 weeks after forgetting

The air was chilly and left traces of the cold wind on my skin, but I didn't notice it. All I could think about was the evenings that I spent talking to Clancy. The evenings where I felt like I could tell him anything. The evenings where I felt like I could trust him. The evenings where I felt safe.

Well, it turns out that all those evenings were a lie. So I'd say finding that out was a big shock to me.

Every time he held me in his arms, it turned out he was keeping me at arm's length. Nothing of what he said was true. I didn't know if anything he said was genuine or not. I had been loyal to him for as long as I could remember, but apparently, that wasn't true.

Though, looking back, it all connected. Not all of the dots were clear yet, and not the whole story was unfolded in front of me, but so far it all seemed to make sense; Clancy's reaction to Raiden, Clancy wanting to send Blaze to project Jamboree, and the missing daily logs were undoubtedly also part of it.

A shiver went up my spine thinking about this betrayal. I should have never trusted Clancy in the first place. But still, I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, and that was what made me even angrier.

Hoping to get my mind off the topic, I stared at the rippling water that produced calming sounds. It only made me distracted from the soft footsteps that were approaching behind me. Only when they were already close to me, I noticed them. I looked over my shoulder to see who it was, but the darkness only allowed me to see the silhouette. Though, I already had a suspicion of who it was. I pulled my knees up to my chin and folded my arms around me. The silhouette only took that as a sign that I was cold and held up something in his hand.

"Here." He threw me the hoodie, which I caught effortlessly. He cleared his throat. "I heard about Clancy. I'm sorry."

"No, you're not."

It was silent for a moment. "You're right. I'm not."

We stayed like that for a while. Finally, he took a few more steps towards me and sat down. I was glad he couldn't see my face, afraid that he'd see the red eyes and snotty nose that were probably the only thing that would draw someone's attention to my face.

Of course Raiden wasn't sorry. He probably knew from the start. Otherwise, he wouldn't have known immediately that I didn't remember him. "How did you know it was him?"

He shrugged. "Because he is an orange. And I know that doesn't necessarily mean he is bad, but it all added up when he came to threaten me to not say anything to you. Apparently, he knew who I was before you did."

Threaten him? I wanted to ask him what he said to Raiden. What Clancy used to threaten him with. But there was another question playing around in my head. "Why didn't you just say that from the beginning?"

He snorted and it sounded like he tried to hold in a laugh. "Because I know how stubborn you are, Morgan. You would not have believed me at all and immediately would've gone to Clancy. You had to figure it out on your own."

I let it sink in, but to my surprise, I realized he was right. That was exactly what I would have done. "Sounds like you know me well." While I said it, a suspicion started to brood in the back of my mind. I turned sideways to look at his reaction while I asked, "What were we to each other?"

His head went up and his eyes immediately met mine.

Before he could say anything else, Nadia walked up to us with an excited face. "Hey," she greeted but stopped when she saw us. "I'm sorry, am I interrupting?"

"No, not really," Raiden answered as he stood up. He padded the dirt off his jeans and looked up. "You were saying?"

"Oh yeah. So, I think I put all the pieces of the puzzle together. I just thought you wanted to know." Her head nodded in my direction. She then looked back at Raiden and started to walk back.