Our Darkest Memories

15. Following the Sound of Darkness

6 weeks after forgetting

Making decisions wasn't easy. It had never been easy for me, and it never would when it would have such an impact on the future. But decisions had to be made, and in my case, they had to be made immediately.

Am I taking the right path? Would they all hate me for my decision?

All those thoughts were quickly roaming around my head when I slowly walked into the cabin of Clancy. The wooden floor creaked when I stepped through the door that led to Clancy's living space, making Clancy look up at me. I swallowed, knowing what risk I was taking. But I had to continue. And so I stepped further until I stood opposite him.

Clancy didn't see my nerves though, or at least, he didn't let it show. He kept seated at his desk, his right hand still holding the pen he was using to write on the paper in front of him. When I looked at it, I could only make out one word: Thurmond.

I knew what that word meant, of course. Who didn't? It was the most famous place since IAAN started. The first, and most feared place for us to go.

Clancy caught me staring at the name and quickly grabbed the paper to lay it somewhere else after which he gave me a dark look. "I don't mean to be rude, of course, but I am pretty busy right now. Something to do with a possible other orange."

The way he said that made me feel uncomfortable. A greedy look was on his face. But to be fair, even though I didn't like it, I needed him now. So I wasn't going to put up with his distraction right now. And that is why I stepped closer and said, "It's kind of important. I really need to speak with you right now."

That caught his attention and the dark look in his eyes disappeared. He turned his head up to watch me with one raised eyebrow and put the tips of his fingers together and leaned forward. "Go on."

I let out a relieved breath that he was willing to listen to me. But it also made me slightly nauseous, because I was going to have to be completely open with him now and confess it all. But it was necessary if I wanted to return my life to the way it was. "I'm gonna be completely honest with you because I haven't been for a while and I hate myself for it."

He stood up from his chair as if he knew that something bad was coming. His mouth opened as if he was about to say something, but I cut him off.

"No, please, let me finish." And I finally let it out. "Clancy, I know what you did. I don't know how you did it, but I know that you messed with my memories."

His face turned shocked, angry, and scared at the same time. He raised his arms as a defense, but I completely ignored it.

"And I'm not mad at you."

Clancy's eyebrows shot up in surprise, his mouth slowly opening and then closing without making a sound.

"I'm not entirely sure why you did it, but it was the right decision. I might have even been the one who asked you to do it. It wouldn't surprise me," I continued.

It took a moment, but then relief crossed his face. However, the surprise had still not completely disappeared. "How do you know?"

"Because that Red girl and that Yellow kid started to tell me things about my past. I thought they were crazy at first, but then I started to have these weird flashbacks. Now I have a better picture of my past." I swallowed and looked away. "And I don't want that. My past is horrible. So now I'm asking you to do it again."

"Do what?"

My eyes went up again to meet him. I was desperate for him to do it, and I needed him to see it. "Erase my past. Make me forget."