Bio for 2019 - 2023 (finished)

Rant

I'm so mad and stressed, I can feel my blood boil. Kat is never home she is helping out an old couple with 50 dogs while I'm stuck at home dealing with our dogs, Luna is stealing and barking , Queenie is barking because Luna is barking . Luna doesn't do anything I say. I'm not well yesterday I was being sick , couldn't even feed with dogs without wanting to throw up, I'm tired I haven't had a good sleep in so long, I'm always having to do housework even if I'm sick, I'm weak and feel like I wanna just lay on the sofa and sleep but the dogs never stop, my anxiety is playing up big time, my hands are shaking like crazy. She leaves at 10 am and come backs whenever she wants sometimes she is here bout 9 pm that's if she isn't coming home for dinner which she does sometime 2 or 3 times a week while I sit here shouting at Luna trying to get her to listen to me . She comes in and starts talking then she just sits there and is like I'm going back tomorrow is that ok ? of course I need to say fine because she would of already told them she was going down so I have to say yes or I'm the bad guy . She never thinks ok Lisa has been dealing with the dogs for 5 days straight or 3 days in a raw and go I better stay at home tomorrow and give Lisa a day off from them but Noooooo I'm not worth giving a shit about. I was sick and all I got was what made you sick ? I'm fed up with dealing with the dogs, getting barked at by the dogs to get up, I don't even have time to wake up right before I'm waking down the stairs, let the dogs out, get my med's and breakfast, hover, do the laundry blah blah fucking blah. It's always the same day after day after day after day. 

I love my whiskey these days, Gin and cider too. I'll need to buy more alcohol so I have something to help me throw the days, of loneliness, I started talking to myself because I have no one to talk too. I watch any shit I can fine to pass the time because no one is ever here. All I wanna do is cry. What the point in having your own house if I can't even watch what I want or do what I want. I hope this shit ends soon.

Idk if someone will read this or not but I have to let it all out, I hope it'll help me calm myself down and relax a bit but I don't think it will but it was worth a try.