321 Reasons

Window Jumping

Weeks had passed. No calls, no texts, no new reasons to stay alive, no conversations. I anxiously waited at my phone all day, hoping each notification was from Sophia. I even went to her aunts house a couple of times, but according to her aunt she was never there.

I tried ignoring it, but I missed her so much. I cared about her, and I wanted to help but I had no idea how.

I felt a lot of emotions and things started getting bad again. I stopped eating as much, and didn't go outside as often, because I had no where to go and no one to go with. I needed to see Sophia.

Friday.
It was 1:17 am according to the watch on my bed stand. I was laying in bed, looking at the ceiling and I could not stop thinking about her, how lonely I had been, what she must be going through. I needed to see her again. I got up, got my cigarettes, reasons book, and keys and tiptoed to the door. I shut my light off and opened my bedroom door, wincing at any loud sounds. I heard my parents snoring and quietly headed downstairs. I couldn't open the door, it would make a sound and immediately wake up my parents. I decided to leave through the kitchen window which was easier said than done. I climbed onto the counter and lifted the window up. The crickets were chirping so loudly. Everything was so loud. I slipped my feet out and tried to feel for the ground. I didn't hit the bottom until my body was half out. I heard a creaking sound. Shit shit shit. Mom probably heard. Shit. I closed the window, leaving it only slightly ajar and ran to my car. Hopefully they wouldn't hear the engine. I kept the lights off and slowly put the key in the engine. Shit. Shit. I drove down Flounder and turned on Pinecone.

I finally reached her house and decided to park a little ahead so her aunt wouldn't see. I walked to the side of her house and checked every window on the ground floor. You thought you were a stalker before? God what if you get caught. After circling the house, I realized she wasn't in the ground floor and and looked up at the first window. I honestly had no idea which room Sophia would be in, but I had three windows to choose from. I had absolutely no athletic ability so this was literally taking everything from me. I stepped up on a small concrete extension and held on to the water pipe. I'm going to fall. I held on so tightly my fists were turning white. I put my other foot up onto the side and slowly slid up her house. I grabbed onto the ledge of the window finally taking a breath. With the little strength I had I put one foot onto the side roof and looked inside the house. I looked over to the bed and saw her aunt sleeping. I ducked so fast and wheezed. Shit. I'm going to die. I climbed fully onto the side of the roof, using my shoes as friction to not slide off. I creeped around to the back of her house. God I probably looked like such a creep. A car passed by and I ducked so it couldn't see me. I reached the back and saw that the window wasn't connected to the roof I was on. I would have to reach over with one foot and keep it on the ledge. I could not mess up. My heart was pounding. I looked down and saw how far below the ground was and got a little dizzy. I sat down on the roof and took heavy breaths. I wheezed. Sophia Sophia Sophia. All for Sophia.

I looked at the window again and decided if there was anytime to be ballsy, now was it. I stretched over with one leg and put all my weight onto the ledge. I grabbed the side of the window with both hands and crouched onto the ledge. It was her room. Thank god it was her room. I saw her sleeping and almost felt bad for waking her up. But it had been weeks and I needed to see her. I tapped on the glass quietly but fast. I was losing my grip.

I tapped a little louder and saw Sophia move. I tapped more and more until she finally woke up. Her eyes widened at the sight of me and she rushed out of bed. She quickly opened the window and I fell into her. She gently helped me in and I wheezed exasperatedly  on the floor. She closed the door of her room and started silently screaming. She mouthed "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE." I whispered that I missed her, I hadn't seen her in ages. I had to know she was okay. She sighed and told me she didn't want to bother me. "I needed some time to myself. Things aren't going to be okay for a while." I saw that the sparkle in her blue eyes was gone and she didn't smile anymore. She had changed a lot. I looked at her hair and she no longer had two braids in the front. "Listen I really missed you okay. I needed to see you again."
"Luna...I just need time okay. I don't need you to make me feel better. I'll be okay. I'm just. There's nothing going for me right now." The careless girl who I admired, who danced and sang on the beach and laughed so loudly on the bus that people looked over, she was gone. I had no idea who this person was. There was no light in her eyes, she wasn't wearing her glasses, she had no braids in her hair and she looked tired. I tried to keep pushing, to tell her I would be here. "Have you been alone these past weeks?"
"No, I've been with my family."
"I missed you."
"I missed you too."
"I promise I'll get better and we can start hanging out again okay?"
"Take as much time as you need, but I'll be here."