Love Means Healing

(8) I'm sorry what?

"I missed my period"

I shook my head, no she- she can't be, I wrapped up and when I didn't...

"You were on the pill!"
She looked down

"Weren't you?"
She sniffled

"Celia Kaulana Mendez"

"Look at me"

"Look at me!"
She looked up at me with tears in her eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me? That you weren't on the pill."

"Because I thought I took it!"

I scoffed
"You thought."
I repeated

"Toni I'm sorry"

"Just stop-"

"Toni this is happening to both of us!"

"You don't think I know that?!"

"That's not what I'm saying-"

"Celia-"

"Toni STOP CUTTING ME OFF. Let me talk"

"Then talk!"

She let out a frustrated sigh
"I'm really sorry, ok? I thought I took it but obviously not."

I closed my eyes and shook my head, still not understanding. I thought we were being safe.

"I get it if you want to leave, just go"

"Why would I want to-"

"Because Toni! You're still that play girl, who's popular and fucks with everyone. It would surprise me if you did want to stay. A child? That'll fuck up your life, your reputation! And of course, Toni Topaz can't have that happening can she?"

She sat down across from me on the bed.

It was completely silent.

"The pill isn't always effective, maybe you did take it."
I said through tears

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Maybe you did take it. It might not be your fault. If anything it'd be mine for not pulling out"

"Well if I was on the pill you wouldn't have had to pull out"

"Ok but if I-"

"Toni"

"Baby?"

"Are you gonna leave?"

"Of course not, I helped make this problem, it's only right I help you with it."

"It being our baby. Don't call it an it."

"You just called it-"

"I know what I called it."
I leaned back onto her lap

"I'm really glad you're staying."

"Me too baby"

I just looked around her room, the frames on the wall, of her family. Then it hit me, damn that's gonna be us.