Love Means Healing

(14) Pride

TW: FIGHTING/ STABBING ⚠️

Toni POV

You know what, I've had enough. I just woke up from a nightmare. A replay of the day Celia's mom filed a restraining order against me, she called me to her house. I was so excited, I thought she finally changed her mind but no, she just wanted to scream at me and give me one last dirty look. That's fine, I'm going to her house right now and I'm not going to be peaceful like I normally am.

I drove to her house, I got to the door. I didn't knock or ring the bell. I knocked out the cameras in front of the house and busted the front door open. I saw Celia's mom in the kitchen looking like a scared little bitch. I ran up to her, jumped on the bitches back and forced her to the ground. She hit her head on the counter on the way down, making her screech in pain. I laughed and started to hit her, punching her face, watching as blood poured out of her mouth, with cuts appearing on her face. I let out all of my anger for her, my father, the mother I miss, and the sister I pushed away, my stress for school and every bad thing in my life. I saw a knife and grabbed it she begged for me not to but I didn't care, I stabbed her 8 times. She fucking deserves it, for all the pain she put me through.

How dare she try to separate me from my babies.

⚠️END TW⚠️

——

I woke up in a panic, I hate having nightmares like that. I hate that my brain even thinks things like that. I'm not a monster, am I? I don't want to be a monster, I don't want to be like my father or need to go to therapy or rehab or whatever. I just want to be a normal fucking teenager with a normal teenage life, I should be able to be normal.

A/N: To clarify, those first 2 paragraphs were a nightmare of Toni's. Just to avoid confusion.

I was freaking the fuck out. It was around 5 AM and I needed to talk to someone, but I didn't want to bother anyone. I didn't go back to sleep in fear of having another nightmare. I decided to log part of my day right now, maybe getting a little off my chest will help. Shortly after I did, I got a call from Fangs

"Hello?"

"Are you ok Toni?"
He asked with a raspy morning voice.

"Umm I don't know, why?"

"I got a notification that you changed your emotion from 'chillin' to 'anxious'."

"Oh, well no not really"

"I can come over if you want"

"That'd be nice."
I sniffled

"I'm on my way"

"Drive safe."

-

I heard a knock at the door and knew it was Fangs.

"How did you see that notification anyway?"
I started wondering earlier, wouldn't he have been asleep?

"My phone was under my pillow and I heard the little bloop sound affect and woke up"

"Oh.. sorry"

"Don't be, I keep it there for you"

"Thank you"

We sat down on the couch, he pulled me to lay my head on his lap.

"So... what happened?"

"Please don't think I'm crazy Fangs, I know I need help ok, I really do and it scares me"

"I won't think you're crazy T, I love you, I'm here for you"

I took a deep breath
"Well, I had a nightmare that I... I- I hurt Celia's mom"