My bully , Ashton Irwin

chapter 50

Song for this chapter : U2 -WALK ON ( I LOOOOOVE THIS SONG )

Chris's P.O.V.

If we think about it ,we use the word love a lot of times . Someone would say '' Oh my god I love this shirt.'' that means that the person has a strong liking for that specific shirt .Another person could say ''I love playing football.'' , in this situation the person takes great pleasure in playing the certain sport. But when you say ''I love you'' to someone , it is different.It means that you genuinely care and that you will be there for them unconditionally. That's what I feel about Ashton.I love him.

'' Can I go wash my hands ?'' I asked mr. Wilson and he nodded. Let's say that drawing with watercolors is not my forte.I went to to the taps that were in the school yard to wash my hands . After I was done , I turned around to see Ashton and Luke in the corner . They were not aware of the fact that I was looking at them and I decided to keep it that way at first .Luke took out a plastic bag that had , what looked like, cannabis in.I just stared at them , as they rolled and lit their cigarettes .I couldn't keep my eyes off Ashton.We had talked about him smoking before and he had said that he refrained from drugs .I observed him , as he probably got high , as he was now laughing and being goofy (I am not really informed about drugs , so sorry if this is not very accurate) . He then looked at me and smiled . His eyes though , were not the same .He started walking closer .

'' Hey .'' he said , as he leaned in to kiss me .I backed away and he looked at me with a surprised look on his face . He came again closer and I put my hands on his chest .'' What's wrong ?'' he asked .

'' Are you smoking cannabis ?'' I asked him and he smiled .

'' Yeah , want some ?'' he asked bringing the cigarette dangerously close to my mouth . I took it from his hand, threw it on the ground and stepped on it . '' What the hell are you doing ?'' he asked .

''This is illegal , Ashton . Do you even know the dangers of smoking cannabis ? High risk of developing lung cancer at an older age , brain cells are damaged and not replaced and so many . '' I said to him and he laughed .

'' You are so silly.'' he laughed.

'' I am not silly , Ashton this is not good for you . I thought you didn't do drugs .'' I said .

'' And I thought , that you had stopped self-harming , but I was the one who took care of your crying mess that day.'' he shouted .My eyes were wide from the surprise but they immediately shut from the pain. How can he say that ?

" Wow." was all I could say before I started running . The tears were filling my eyes,as I heard him chase me .

" Chris , wait ." he said as he reached me. He grabbed my arm and turned me around so I faced him. " I am sorry , I didn't mean it ." he said .

" No , Ashton .You meant it . You definitely did.You said you loved me." I shouted as I angrily pushed him away .I run back to the building , not daring to look back .I wiped the tears off my eyes , but it was pointless .They just wouldn't stop.The bell rung and the hallway filled with people. I started walking , my head looking at the ground. I don't want anyone to see my tears. As I was not seeing where I was going , I bumped into someone. I lifted my head to see Calum standing on front of me.He had a wide smile on his face , but his smile faded as he probably noticed my teary eyes .

''Are you okay ?'' he asked and I nodded .

'' Yeah , I am just having a bad day.'' I said .

''Did anyone bother you ?'' he asked and I shook my head .

'' I am fine.Thank you.'' I said and he nodded.

''Come on , let's go to the cafeteria . Michael is waiting .'' he said and we started walking . As soon as we saw Michael, he waved at us and we went to the table he was sitting . I sat on the chair and sighed.I wanna crawl in a corner and cry right now.I already felt guilty for Ashton coming over the other day to comfort me and now I feel way worse . Maybe I am not a good girlfriend.Maybe , he should find someone better . But I love him.I love the way he holds me , the way he kisses me , when he says that everything will be alright .I never expected to feel this way about him , but I do . But now , I feel hurt.

''Chris , do you hear us ?'' Michael snapped his fingers in front of my face ,bringing me back to reality.

''Uhm yeah . What were you talking about ?'' I asked .

'' Have you seen Ashton ?'' he asked and I shook my head.

''So , you guys are coming to the party ,right ?'' Calum said and Michael nodded.

''What party ?'' I asked .

''It's my birthday tomorrow and I am expecting you to come.'' Calum said. I sighed . I hate parties.

''I dont know , I am not a party person.'' I said .

''We will be there and so will Ashton . You have nothing to worry about.'' he said and I felt my heart breaking even more .

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I AM SOOOOOO SORRY. YOU PROBABLY HATE ME AND I CANT BLAME YOU.

I am the worst person on this planet . I am really sorry that I haven't been updating . I have a lot going on right now .First I am getting ready for an educational trip in Italy and I am stressed out. I got my school report yesterday and I was so anxious that I couldn't eat , I had some family problems that hopefully have been solved and I had a bunch of tests . But anyway , I don't want to tell you things that you probably don't care about.Again , I am really sorry.

Happy late Valentine's Day !!!!! Who was your Valentine ??!?!!? (wink)

Shoutouts :

thatgirl_named : she has an ash and hazza story !!!!

JessicaBroward : she has really cool stories .

grace27077: she has two stories up !!

Love ya , bye 

xoxoC.