My bully , Ashton Irwin

chapter 6

Ashton's P.O.V.

She was standing there , right in front of me . I couldnt speak . A purple bruise was covering her cheek and a cut was on the corner of her lips . I could tell that she was struggling to stay up . Her legs were trembling and I assume that  she was in a lot of pain . This made me feel horrible . I didnt see her today , so I took her adress from her file and came to check up on her . I dont know why . My body was acting faster than my brain . Maybe I was afraid of my dream coming true , maybe I regret for all the things that I have done to her , maybe .. I care about her .No , Ashton you dont care about anyone , I reminded to myself. I dont know . But the only thing  that I know for sure is that the girl in front of me is broken and it is my fault .

''What have I done ?''  I said looking at the broken girl in front of me .

'' Everything .'' she whispered , looking at the ground and slammed the door on my face . I heard her crying and honestly it broke my heart more .

''Plese open the door . Dont cry .'' I said  knocking on the door .

''No you are going to hurt me .'' she said  in a frightened tone .'' You have done enough , leave .'' she added sniffing . I didnt hear anything from that moment . There was a complete silence , that meant she had left . Where was she ? What was she doing ? What if she was self-harming ? I jumped at my last thought . I  have to get in there . I have to find her . Every house has a bathroom window . I run to the back of  the house . Luckily the small window was wide open . I climbed in the leafless tree and tried to reach the window . I made it to the top , so I was across the bathroom . I streched my hands to reach the tip of the window , so I could hold from it . I took a deep breath and I jumped . I was hanging from the wall , so step one completed . I slowly pulled my body in the house .

The sight that I saw was shocking . She was cutting, just like how I expected . She was ignoring my presence and made another cut . Four were the cuts , from which the blood was coming out . I took a towel and went near her , so I could clean her cuts .

'' Dont touch me .'' she screamed , as I pressed the towel against her cuts .

''Please let me help .'' I said and she went silent .I cleaned her cuts and bandaged them , just like how I saw the nurse doing it the day I took her there . ''Why ?'' I asked her , the words escaping my mouth without thinking .

''Are you really asking me this ? Why do you think ? Because of you . You are the reason . You and your friends . You hurt me every day and I am sick of it . You have found the easy target .'' she stood up and so did I .'' It is all your fault . Do you think it is easy to be on the side ? Do you think it is easy to live with an abusive dad ? Do you think it is easy to be rejected by your own mother ? You know nothing about me . It is your fault that I suffer every day , it is your fault . I hate you Ashton Irwin . I hate you .'' she was yelling banging my chest with her small fists , in contrast to mine . I let her take it all out . She is right , it is my fault .She eventually stopped and fell in my arms .  I hugged her , like I have never hugged anyone .She was crying like there was now tomorrow . She seems to have kept so many things inside . Seeing her like this makes me feel guilty . Guilty because I caused this . Her desperate screams are breaking my heart .

''Please relax .'' I said taking her hands in mine . She was shaking and her face was red from crying .

''Dont hurt me .'' she whispered closing her eyes .Her words made me feel even more guilty . She is afraid of me . I am scary to her . I know that I am not a lovable person , but her being afraid of me made me feel bad .

''I wont .'' I said .

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Did you expect that ? I was writing and it came naturally . My fingers were going on their own . ENJOY !!! 

xoxoC.