My bully , Ashton Irwin

chapter 19

Chris's P.O.V.

Even Spoongebob couldnt get my mind off him and what he did . I just cant understand him . He kisses me and the next day he hits me .I tried to find something in his eyes that day , that moment .Something to explain me why he kicked me . But his eyes were emotionless . I hate myself for even thinking that he might likes me .Yes , I thought of that . Now , I understand that I was stupid . Ashton will never like me and I cant have feelings for him . So , I should better stop thinking about that kiss , because it probably was a dare . I am angry , though . I am angry , because he stole my first kiss . I didnt want him to steal my first kiss . But why did I kiss him back ?

Today it has been ten years . Ten years since my grandma became an angel . She alway was an angel though . Being the selfless person she was , she slways tried to please everyone . I really miss her . To be honest , I think that things would be way more different if she was still alive .She would  take me with her . She would ''rescue'' me from my father . Today , it is the tenth year anniversary from her death . Dad is missing like usual .But I cant say that I am not happy about it .  I decided to do what I do every year . Go to her grave and leave her some flowers . It is Saturday , so thankfully I dont have school .

I grabbed my black jacket and wore my shoes , before exiting the house . I made a quick stop at a flower shop , where I bought violets . She loved violets . I took the bouqet and walked to the local graveyard .I hope that dad doesnt notice that I took money for the flowers .Because if he does , I will be in a huge trouble .But it will be worth it , because it is for grandma . I entered the cemetary and headed to her grave .I remember exactly where it is .

''Hi grandma .'' I said placing the flowers down . I sat on the ground , I always do that .'' It's been ten years . huh ?'' I added . ''Mum still hasnt come back  I dont think that she will .'' I said my voice cracking a bit at the end .'' I met a really nice lady .She was a lot like you .Her name is Margaret and she owns a pizza place . It has the best pizza I have ever tasted .Dad is still the same  maybe a bit more aggressive than last year .But nothing has changed .Oh , I have a friend .His name is Michael .He is the sweetest boy ever , even though he used to bully me . He has colourful hair and --'' I couldnt finish as I heard whipering . I instictevely turned my head towards the direction the noise was made .

I was caught off guard from what I saw . Ashton was crying over a grave . He was the person that I least expected to see and the person  that I least expected to cry .A few graves were between us . What should I do ? Before I could react , he lifted his head from his hands and his eyes met mine . Even though we werent that close , I could see that his eyes were red from crying and he cheeks were stained by his tears . I have never seen him cry .My heart aches and I dont know why . I should be happy that he hurts , but I am not . I feel sympathy for him . I got up and went near him . I dont know what I am doing . I looked at the stone , it  had '' Elizabeth Irwin '' written on it . I guess she was his sister . She passed away when she was five years old . I sat beside him .His head was burried in his hands as  he cried his eyes out . I gently patted his back , not being sure of what to do . 

''It was her birthday today .'' he said in an unstable voice .''She would have turned eight .'' he added and I nodded . He got up and so did I . He looked into my eyes , before hugging me tight .I hugged him back . It reminded me of the day he hugged me at my house . I needed that hug and now he needs this hug . His tears were drenching my jacket , but I didnt care . I have never seen him like this . '' It's okay .'' I said patting his back . His face was on my shoulder , letting his tears fall freely .He broke our hug and looked at me .He shook his head vigoriously and started running away .I just stood there . Why did he run away ? 

I walked back home .What was the point of being there anyway ? I wanted to run after him , but something held me back . I strangely didnt want to let him go .I wanted to comfort him . I cant believe that I am saying this . I wanted to comfort my bully .The person that hurts me physically and emotionally .The person that has broken me even more .The grey sky and the moisture in the air were signaling a rain coming . I unlocked the door and noticed that dad is not home . It was getting dark outside , so I guess he wont come home tonight . 

 A few hours have passed and as I had predicted , it started raining pretty hard . It looks like a thunderstorm .I wonder where Ashton is right now . I hope he is somewhere safe. Seeing him cry made me forget everything he has done to me .He seemed so vulnerable .He showed pure emotion . Suddenly the door  bell rung and a thunder was heard . I got up from my couch and opened the door . In front of me there was a drunk , soaking wet Ashton .

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HELLO !! Sorry for delaying this a bit . I hope that it was worth waiting . DO YOU LIKE IT ??? It is raining pretty hard here . I dont understand .Yesterday it was so sunny and warm and today it is raining like there is no tomorrow . I am not complaining though , I love the rain . I just gave love advice to a 10 year old , I have no life . Anyway ,YOU ALMOST REACHED 8 K !! I CANT BELIEVE IT !! I LOVE YA ALL SO MUCH ♥ 

xoxoC.