Finding Yourself

Chapter Fourteen: -And Cold

(HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! We have like 2 more chapters until crap hits the fan so... enjoy angsty Dakota :))

Dakota woke up in- you guessed it- a foul mood. Just like the many days and nights before, Dakota's sadness, self-doubt, and other sensations from the night before shifted into simmering anger. This time- it was near-boiling.

His heart felt heavy, like a sack of flour. His intellect was confused, unsure of what action to take. He wanted a relationship with Lucas, but at the same time, he didn't. He wanted to avoid heartbreak, but he felt as if his heart would break either way.

He ignored everyone at breakfast- not just Lucas. When Nick worriedly asked Dakota if he was feeling alright, Dakota didn't budge. He loved Nick, but he didn't feel like being touched or talked to.

Nick seemed to understand that he was in a mood- and so did the rest of the family. Dakota didn't even look at Lucas the entire morning- he knew if he saw those pretty blue eyes, he would cave. When he was addressed, he looked at Nick a couple of times; however, looking at Nick didn't make Dakota feel any better.

Nick looked scruffy- he wasn't shaving it seemed. He also looked thin and weepy. His thick muscular body had slimmed slightly. He didn't look anorexic, but he did appear very weak.

It seemed to be Nick's new look, considering how long Xavier had been away. 

Meanwhile, Dakota also glanced at Avil- who hid the misdeeds of Devin and Tanner under his thick foundation. It sickened Dakota that Avil was sitting eating bacon while no one else in the family knew anything about it. He wondered how many secrets the others could be hiding and covering up with ease.

He then realized he held a secret that he covered up with ease.

Lucas.

Unfortunately, Dakota had to go to school- it was Monday after all. He was not in the mood for it. He was not in the mood to be piled up in the van with his mom blaring th radio. He was not in the mood for entering the school and seeing Devin walk around as if he didn't beat up a kid for fun.

He didn't even feel like talking to Soap and Ethan.

Ethan looked upset still- but he also looked visibly better than before. Soap had apparently allowed Ethan to comb his fingers through their short hair- something he finds satisfying and relaxing.

Dakota decided that Ethan had Soap- and that was good enough for now. Dakota would ask Ethan abut his issues when Dakota felt like talking. He wasn't in a good enough spirit to comfort.

"Uh oh," Soap snorted, when Dakota hit them with his glare, "Grumpy Dakota is back again. What's wrong? Did Lenore come back?"

"Shut up," Dakota snapped- but Soap- who had a thick skin of steel- just rolled their eyes at the demand. Instead of pestering, both Ethan and Soap talked to each other. They both knew to leave Dakota alone when he was in a mood.

Lenore apparently didn't.

She approached Dakota that morning, and -as she was about to speak- Soap said, "I wouldn't."

"What do you mean?" Lenore asked them.

"I wouldn't talk to him. He's in anger mode," Soap replied, referring to Dakota, "See how he's glaring at me for literally doing nothing? That's how you know to not interact with him- unless you have a death wish. Of course-" they huffed- "You would know that if you actually cared about him."

Dakota glared harder. Lenore scoffed.

"If I was a low person, I would argue with you," Lenore said, somewhat stiffly," But seeing as how I preside over you in dignity, I'm going to accept that you're foolishly wrong without being aware of it." She glared at Soap. "I don't know what problem you have with me, but I've never done anything to you. So, leave me alone." She walked away throwing a careless, "Hope you feel better Dakota."