The Fallen(Nalu)

14- Escape

The room was empty when I got back to it.

I was surprised...I don't know why.

I made it very clear the path I wanted to take.

Even so, a pain had grabbed at my chest when I saw the lifeless room.

I walk over to the bed and sit down.

How could he just leave like that?.....

I sigh and fall back onto the bed.

What am I even saying?

I'm such a hypocrite.

I've been trying to leave him ever since he found me, so isn't this what I wanted? To be left alone...

Why is it that now that I am alone...it feels wrong?

I've been alone for the past few years just fine and then Natsu showed up and thoughts of Fairy Tail... and now I'm uncomfortable being in this room all alone.

I just need more time to forget about all of this and I'll be fine again.

Just deal with it, Lucy. You can deal with it.

You can push it all away.

I sigh and close my eyes to let myself succumb to sleep.
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"There's no time okay...You have to go, Lucy. I'll be okay."

"What? What are you talking about? I'm not going anywhere!"

I toss and turn in the bed, sweat forming on my brow.

"Run away, Lucy. Please just run away..."

My eyes shoot open, the nightmare causing me to wake up.

I sit up in the bed, a bead of sweat dripping down my forehead.

There'd be complete silence in the room if not for my heavy panting.

No no no...

That was too much. I don't want to know this. I don't want to remember this.

I lean forward and cradle my head in my hands.

"Please just stop..."

I'm so tired of this.

It's so painful I can't bear to think about it.

I need to stop thinking about all of this.

I've been running on autopilot for the past few years. This past week it's been shut off and now it's leaving me open to all of these thoughts and emotions and it's all getting out of control.

This is why I wanted to leave in the first place...to get away from this...this unbearable pain that keeps trying to come back.

I just have to try to push away all of these horrible feelings and get back to the point where I can run on autopilot again.

That's it.

My plan is to get as far away from Fairy Tail and Natsu so that I never have to worry about thoughts about them coming back up again.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow I get on that train and I never come back.