The Fallen(Nalu)

15- Where Happiness Lies

The air is brisk so early in the morning.

The sun hasn't completely risen so a slight chill runs up my spine.

The train station is unusually quiet since it's so early in the morning.

The small group of people here wait in a line right outside the door of the train. It's only been about twenty minutes since I got here when the doors slide open and the first person walks onto the train.

This is it.

This last week I've been waiting for this moment where I can finally be free from the past.

No more watching around every corner in fear of seeing something that will trigger the painful memories in my head that I have locked away.

Now I can continue as I was before...forever.

This is what my life will be from now on.

The person in front of me takes a step forward as the line slowly starts moving and I follow.

Once I get on this train I won't be coming back.

This is what I want.

My foot stops on the step.

Something in me stops my foot from moving forward.

I breathe put a frustrated sigh.

Why do I hesitate?

Is this what I want?

What's holding me back?!

I close my eyes and comb through the past week.

Ever since Natsu's been in my life again I've been getting closer and closer to the edge of the  pool in my brain and there were so many times that I thought I was going to fall in...

Those moments where I thought all that time and distance I put between me and Fairy Tail was going to be for nothing.

They were horrible and I could feel an unbearable pain just trying to claw its way out of me.

But those moments didn't last forever...

It wasn't horrible when we were in the forest...laughing and talking like old times. It also wasn't so bad when we went out to eat again or when we cleaned that lady's house....

There were times when I felt...happy?

A strange feeling spreads in my stomach.

I was, wasn't I?

That first night talking with Natsu under the setting sun was the most relaxed and peaceful I had felt since....

My thoughts trail off.

How have I not realized this before?

This is why I'm hesitating.

I haven't felt like that in two years. I've been wandering around aimlessly with no real goal in life anymore and no real connections and for the first time in a long time I actually felt like I was here...like I was alive.

I felt happy.

Even with that horrible gut wrenching feeling that is always lurking around the corner when I think of Fairy Tail...I had managed to feel happiness.

I stare at the train in front of me and the future that awaits me.

There is no happiness here...

I bring my foot back down off of the step.

I'm not really quite sure exactly what I plan to do...but I do know that I don't want to get on this train.

I turn around and start walking away from the train before I change my mind.

I did it...

Now what?

Is Natsu even still here?

He could be long on his way back to Magnolia right now....I can't follow him there...

I stop and stand still.

My teeth bite at my lip and my hands clench at my sides nervously.

Maybe it is too late...maybe I should get back on the train...

"Lucy?"

I look up ahead of me and immediately feel reassured.

"Natsu!"

I smile and swiftly walk up to him.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had left?"

His lip tilts up in one corner goofily and he shrugs.

"I came here for you...I don't give up that easily."

I swiftly lean forward and wrap my arms around him.

I inhale and sigh in relief.

"I'm glad."