The Fallen(Nalu)

20- Fears

My eyes open slightly and I wince.

So bright...

The sun shines through the trees directly onto my face.

I sit up and rub my eyes groggily.

My eyes feel slightly swollen and it takes a second for me to open them up all the way.

"Good morning, Lucy."

My hands falls into my lap and I look over at Natsu standing cheerily to my left.

I groan and fall back onto my back.

"I don't know what it is but that was the worst night of sleep ever. I feel awful right now."

Natsu walks over to me and leans his head over, blocking the sun from my eyes.

"Why do you think you didn't sleep well?"

My eyebrows scrunch in confusion.

"I don't know...I mean I was sleeping on the ground with a thin blanket."

He stares at me thoughtfully for a few moments before backing away.

"Ah"

The sun shines back into my eyes and I wince.

"I'm going to go get breakfast. I'll be back in a minute."

I sit up again and watch as he walks towards the river.

Is he planning on catching some fish?

With what?

I watch as he jumps into the water and groan, looking away from the fiasco.

Never mind.

What an idiot.

I lay back down on the thin blanket beneath me and close my eyes.

Hmmmm.

That was weird when Natsu asked me why I was tired...it was almost like he knew why and was questioning whether I knew or not....

What exactly did I do last night?

Sleep walk?

I bite my lip.

Wait...

No.

I know exactly what happened last night.

I woke up from a nightmare...Natsu comforted me back to sleep.

Why did I only remember that that had happened just now?

My nails dig into the palm of my hand.

I do that a lot don't I?....Forget.

I've had many nights where I wake up, not remembering what had woken me up in the first place.

Look at what you've done to yourself, Lucy.

I take a deep breath in, opening my eyes to stare at the foliage above me.

And yet when I wanted it to...the memory of last night came right back to me...didn't it?

So if I wanted it to...that memory would come back.

My nightmare is a theatrical version of my own fears. My fear that I've completely destroyed my ties with Fairy Tail by leaving as I did.

Even if I did decide to remember and go back there...would I be welcomed back?

"No one blames you for leaving, Lucy."

I exhale softly.

"You're still not up, Lucy?"

I tilt my head to the side.

Natsu walks over with dripping clothes and two fish in his hand.

"You actually caught something."

My voice spills with surprise and I sit up.

Natsu shoots me a playful glare.

"I can't believe you doubted me."

I shrug and brush a strand of hair behind my ear, looking to the ground.

"Is something wrong?"

I glance up.

"Hmmm?...no."

Natsu gives me a look and sets the fish down on a small tarp he took from my bag. He walks over to me and sits on a log across from me.

"How long have I known you, Lucy? I know something's on your mind."

I bite my lip and sigh.

"Why did you come find me?"

Natsu's head tilt and looks at me with a stunned look

"Because you don't belong out here by yourself."

I shake my head.

"I know that, Natsu. I mean...like...I just left and basically just didn't think about Fairy Tail or anything and yet you're still here."

He raises an eyebrow at me questioningly.

I sigh.

"What I mean is...do I really deserve to have you here? Do I deserve to be cared about this much when I chose not to care about you?"

I cross my arms around each other and wrap my fingers around my forearms as I anxiously wait for his response.

Natsu combs a hand through his hair and looks down.

Oh no...

What did I do?

What if he realizes I'm right and leaves?

A chuckle sounds from him and my hands instantly loosen their grip on my arms.

He raises his eyes to meet mine and I stare into them without hesitation.

"Lucy...everybody makes mistakes and does something that they may regret. Trust me, I've done a lot of things that I regretted..."

He chuckles a little bit when he says it and my grip tightens on my arm.

"But it doesn't matter how much or how badly I screw up...my friends...my family...they will always be there for me. They may get onto me and tell me I'm an idiot but at the end of the day I'm still sitting in the guild hall laughing with everyone."

I press my lips together and nod my head.

"You think...even after all this time...they'd do the same for me?"

Natsu reaches his hand forward and pulls my fingers form around my arm, wrapping his hands around my hand in front of me.

"Lucy, I know they would."