Maybe is a Loser's word ~ Benny Watts Fanfic

Chapter 1 ~ 1953 ~ Unpredictable

~A/N~
This Wattpad is about the life of Benny Watts in the Queens Gambit. In the first chapter he will be a child, but as the chapters go on he progresses in age. (Right now he is 12, next chapter he is 14, then he is 20 etc.) there will be quite a lot of romance in this story as we are going into details about Benny's life, however this isn't a Smut.

TW ~ This chapter mentions abuse
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I'm sitting at the round pine table in the centre of the kitchen; studying the pieces on a chess board I had bought with my winnings from the tournament on Sunday. It was an easy win... nobody I played put up a fight. As I sat there, I start to go over faults in my games.
"I castled too early" I thought. Annoyed at my simple mistake. If I had only waited a few more moves I could have easily pulled a mate in three. The further I analysed, the more I realised how much I needed to improve if I wanted to succeed.

A few hours went by, and I had noticed that my opponent could have come close to beating me in a few simple moves. I studied more and spent the rest of the night fixing my errors. I woke up at 8am. I had fallen asleep with my face on the chess board; pieces scattered at my feet. I walk into the living room to find my mother passed out, drunk, on the floor. It wasn't unusual to find my mom this way, ever since my dad and brother Sebastian left a year ago; all she seems to do is drink her life away. She still takes me to tournaments as she needs me to pay for her drinking habits.

Sometimes I wonder if dad didn't leave, things would be different... maybe I wouldn't even play chess. Even though I'm 12 years old, I'm playing with the adults (some are even grandmasters).
I walk over to the kitchen sink and find a bowl to wash so I can eat my cereal, "Benny darling?" my mother calls,
I wince at the sound of her voice "yes mom??" I call back,
"Can you grab me that bottle of wine on the top of the fridge, I'm thirsty" she replies.
I look over at the bottle, reluctant to reach out and grab it. "Benjamin hurry up" she calls.
I walk over to the bottle and grasp it in my hand tightly. Trying to contain my anger. "She shouldn't drink this much" I think to myself, "I need to get rid of it before she dies and who will take me to tournaments if she dies".
I walk over to the sink and pour the remaining amount of wine out.

As I'm emptying the last of the bottle down the drain, I don't realise my mom is standing behind me.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING" she screams.
I jump at the sound of her voice; yelling at me, and scream back "SAVING YOUR LIFE MOM".
She grabs me by the shoulders and pushes me back away from the sink and I crash to the floor, the wine bottle shattering on top of me; slashing my leg. I see her starting to panic and she starts muttering
"I need to get more wine".
She hurries through to the living room, grabs her purse, and runs out the door.

I lay frozen on the ground. Scared to face her next move. This is why I submerge myself in the world of chess. Everything is predictable. Where as now? I don't know what to do.

After some time, I crawl away from the messy floor, carefully placing my hands as I help myself up, so not to cut myself... yet I  still manage to catch onto the broken shards. I limp over to the bathroom, and throw myself back onto the closed toilet lid. I find some tweezers in the medicine cabinet, and I use them to carefully remove the glass from my skin. I know that I should really get my wounds checked by a doctor of some sort... but I don't have the money to cover house bills nevermind medical bills. I shower to deep clean my leg and hands; they begin to heal quickly. Then I find some old, spare gauze in the cupboard and wrap it around my leg. I begin to think about when mom was found after her last episode like this. She had fallen outside of a nightclub, and hit her head pretty badly.  When she was discharged from the hospital they gave her some extra cleaning equipment to use. It all comes in handy. A few hours go by, and eventually I have managed to tidy the house again. I think I must've thrown out at least a dozen empty glass bottles of  alcohol, and thats only from the last couple of days. I spend the evening playing chess, until I realise that its midnight. I climb into bed; worrying about what Mom was going to do next. I knew i needed to escape somehow.
Eventually I manage to fall asleep, looking at a photo of Dad.

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Hey guysss

We're sorry it's not a long chapter but the next one will be longer we promise!

Benny is 12 years old at this stage in the book and we will be progressing in age so in the next one he will be 14(just as Beth does in the book and the TV show)

We have also decided to make Benny a lil younger because the age gap between Beth and Benny was a bit weird so now the age gap is 5 years instead of 8 years which feels so much better. So at this point in the book Beth is 7 and living with her Birth Mother.

love from
newty and dobby (the authors btw)