Maybe is a Loser's word ~ Benny Watts Fanfic

Chapter 17~1968~ Loser

"Beth! ?" I clammer in sudden disbelief.

"I'm so glad I can hear your voice right now" I tell her, a slight smile brushes my face. Beth takes a breath and blurts out "I'm so sorry Benny. I didn't mean to treat you this way. I hope you can forgive me".

I stand stunned. "Beth of course I forgive you. You weren't well and I'm proud of you for getting back to competing. I'm always here if you ever need to talk. From now on we are talking on the phone everyday, we can talk about anything... chess, Russia, food... you name it."

Beth gives a happy sigh of relief." I'm training for Russia at the moment and I was hoping that you would like to accompany me.... only if you wanted to thou-"she tells me before I cut her off out of excitement.

" Of course! I would love too. You should go to that church group that can help fund your trip. Just ask for an extra ticket and they will book it, separate rooms of course but it will be fine" I squeal excitedly. Just the thought of seeing Beth again gives me goose bumps.

"Great. Thanks Benny, I will talk to you tomorrow" she says. "Okay bye Elizabeth. its great to have you back"

and I hang up the phone but this time with a smile on my face.

................................

The phone rings and my heart flutters. I've been waiting for her call for a few days now, she must have called the church group and she's calling to give me the good news.

I reach out and pick up the phone, bringing it up to my ear. "Hello" I say into the receiver.

"Benny, they gave me the money and I couldn't take it. I gave it back" beth stammers. My smile drops.

"It's official now. You are crazy Beth. You are out of your fucking mind" I tell her, trying to stop myself from. shouting at her, I can't come with her on this trip. I don't have the money, and all I want to do is see her.

"Maybe..... probably, but I did it Benny. And it's too late to undo it...." Beth says, acting like it's no big deal.

I remain hopeful, maybe something has been paid for. "Are the tickets paid for" I ask. "No, nothings paid for" she replies bluntly. I sigh "you do understand you need to pay fees for the hotel in advance".

She pauses and says "I have 2000 in my bank account, It would be more of it wasn't for the house..... its going to take a thousand more to do it, at least that".

I know exactly what she's thinking, and I don't even have the money to help her.

"I don't have it." I say, not letting the anger slip into my voice. "-what do you mean, you've got money" she sounds puzzled.

So I repeat myself, "I don't have it."

Beth pauses again "Did you gamble it all away?". I can feel myself getting angrier, "what difference does it make, you can call the federation or the state department".

"The federation doesn't like me, they think I haven't done as much for chess as I could have....." Beth replies in a monotone voice.

I smile slightly and say "you should have gone on tonight, Phil donohugh" She giggles and says "Benny come on and I don't wanna go to Russia by myself"

She wants to see me.Yet me didn't come back to New york. She misses me. But doesn't care enough about me to want to be in a relationship. She wants me around her but refuses the the money, stopping us from being able to see eachother. All she's doing is hurting me.... and I can't take it anymore.

I sit and give a heavy breath though the phone. "Benny?" she asks, awaiting my reply.

My anger has finally raised to the surface. "Are you kidding me?" I say furiously. "What?" Beth asks puzzled.

I've reached my boiling point and everything just spills out. "First you don't come back to new york and you basically tell me that you would rather be a drunk than be with me and now you are pulling this crap, you can fucking well go alone Beth."

She doesn't say anything for a few seconds.

Those seconds feels like an eternity before she fills the gap with her voice.

"Maybe I shouldnt have done it" she says.

I roll me eyes.

"Maybe I didn't have to give the money back" she says finishing her sentence.

"Maybe? Maybe is a losers word Beth" I tell her.

And that's when I say it, making that fatal decsion.

"Don't call me anymore"

and I put down the receiver.

Cutting her out from my life.

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ngl we both forgot to write for literally forever because of you know. stuff.

we will try and get the story done by the end of this year besties, don't you worry

anyways

love from
newty and dobby xoxo