Maybe is a Loser's word ~ Benny Watts Fanfic

Chapter 11 ~ 1967~ High Waisted Shorts

Beth lays back on my bed; amber light from a lamp in the corner of the room bouncing off her pale skin. I walk over to her and she pulls me onto the mattress next to her. Within a few minutes we have ripped each other's clothes off and are tangled in a mess of blankets and heat.

Some time goes by and Beth is lying next to me, us both panting. She is resting her head against my arm, and holding my hand. I never thought I could ever have sex with a woman and feel this happy to be with her. "So that's what is supposed to feel like" Beths says. It takes me a minute to respond. I'm pretty overwhelmed. I struggle to find a reply, so my mind jolts back to the world of chess. "You should play the sicillian" I say out of nowhere. "What?" Beth replies bluntly. I can tell I've messed up. "Your game with Borgov... you should play the sicillian." I respond nervously. "Why? That's what he's so good at" she asks. "It's also what your most comfortable with...you should always play your line never his" I pause "you play what's best for you". I need to try and change the subject. "Thanks" she says again.

I can almost feel her rolling her eyes at me through her tone "anything else?" she adds. This is my chance to tell her something else. I could tell her how i really feel about her. But instead I freak out and say something stupid "One more thing... they never say check at the big tournaments". "Are you serious?" She says back to me, lifting her head. "Yeah very... they never lay their kings down either" I tell her. At this point all I'm doing is stating facts and making things worse. "I meant are you serious this is what you're thinking about right now?!" She exclaims. Before I get the chance to tell her the truth, she shrugs my head off her back and moves to the edge of the bed "goodnight Benny" she snaps. I hold my head in my hand as I gaze at her; surprised. I'm such a fucking idiot. Why as I so bad at situations like these? I've never been good at feelings, and I've said some pretty bad stuff, but this is by far the worst.

I lay there for about 10 more minutes and wait for Beth to fall asleep. Her small body lays naked beneath my white covers and the sheets raise slightly as she breathes. She's got her back to me, and there's a slightly hostility hovering over us. I look around the dark room, and think about the amazing night I've just had. I kissed her. I finally kissed her. The tension between us unravelled and our bodies fused together as one, it was amazing.

Beth turns over to face me, eyes still closed, and shuffles a bit closer so our shoulders are touching. She takes one of her hands and places it in mine, and using it to place my arm over her body. I turn on to my side, spooning her and enveloping her in my arms. She snuggles back against me, and let's out a sigh. I breathe in the her delicate aroma. She smells like peppermint. I can't help but bury my face in her hair. I pull her closer to me and lean her against my body.

We lay there together in that position for the rest of the night.

I wake with her still in my arms, it feels nice to have someone in my bed when I wake up. She's still fast asleep. I smile down at her and place one of my hands in her cheek, cupping her face. "Beth it's time to wake up" I whisper to her in my softest tone. She stirs slightly and shifts on to her back, throwing her hands up to her head. "Not now Benny, I'm too tired" she croaked back, her voice still filled with daze. "Too tired for this? " I lean down and kiss her neck gently, being sure to kiss it just hard enough to leave a mark. She giggles and pushes my face away with her hand. "Fine I'm getting up ugh" she says with an eye roll.

I walk into the kitchen wearing just my underwear and start making breakfast. Eggs and bacon as usual of course. In the corner of my eye I can see her getting ready in my bedroom with the door open. She gets out of bed, still completely naked, and walks over to her suitcase in the corner of my bedroom to start getting dressed. The bacon in the pan starts sizzling and I hastily start turning it over. "Hey Benny?!" Beth calls out from my bedroom. "Yeah?" I call back still preoccupied with the bacon "is it okay if I borrow one if your t shirts? I don't have any left". Not thinking anything of it I call back "all of them are in the cupboard, pick any one you like".