a louis to go, please! » stylinson au

19: why me?

I would like to dedicate this chapter to everyone who can relate to Louis right now. To everyone who feels like giving up, but is staying for god knows what. I want you to know that I'm proud of you.

This chapter personally means everything to me. Everything Harry & Louis said have been said by me to my friend. I have been relating to Louis now more than I ever before & writing everything down is just my therapy in this moment.

So this is to you, the broken one's with smiling mouths, aching bones and bleeding hearts. This is to you.

They've been in Louis's room for about half an hour while just sitting there and Louis crying in Harry's arms.

No one spoke a word, it was quiet. Harry didn't knew what to say anyway and Louis didn't wanted to speak. It seemed like no matter what he did, he was just being selfish. This dream was messing with his head. And god, he was stuck there.

After a while, Harry got the idea of going to this abandoned park he told Louis about yesterday. Maybe that was what he needed right now. Just .. screaming. Letting it all out, because all this weight was way too heavy to carry it anymore.

Harry took him to the abandoned park in the early morning when he sun wasn't quite out yet. She was shining enough light for them not to trip over anything.

Louis still felt exhausted from his dream, and now being outside with everything in his head was making him anxious. But Harry said that he'll protect him.

He didn't exactly told Harry everything. After he suggested going to the park, he was hesitant to answer. Harry didn't pushed him to talk, just sat there and waited.

"Take your time."

Time for what? Louis was struggling to put this all into words, he didn't even wanted to think about it anymore but he knew that this would never happen. He would always see this imagine of everyone dying in front of his very eyes.

So Louis just said a few words instead of explaining what was happening. He didn't wanted to give Harry any details anyway. And Harry understood.

"Nightmare. My mom .. this thing. She .. Death."

This was all Louis could croak out. He wanted to say more, he wanted to let everything out that he was thinking because he felt like his head was exploding. He felt like he might die.

The park was at the end of town, making the two boys walk for about twenty minutes.

It was nothing very special. The park looked like a playground, but everything was rusty and vines were entwining the playground equipment. All kinds of things were carved all over the benches and trees. What stood out the most, however, was the huge derelict building, which was covered in graffiti.

Fuck the government. Broken & Lonely. Dreaming with my eyes open.

All kinds of things were written all over the place, but it seemed like the broken kids came here especially often.

Louis spotted a graffiti rose, the petals were red and something dropped off of its edges like blood. The rose seemed somewhat .. damaged. The thorns looked extra sharp.

In another corner was a sunflower, it was not shining in its natural yellow colours. Instead, it looked drained of any water and dry.

"Kind of beautiful, right?" Harry asked into the silence, nodding into the direction of all the graffiti. Louis could do nothing but just nod. It was another kind of beautiful.